gentlmen, be seated! the lyrics
WILLIAM TECUMSAH SHERMAN THOMAS J. "STONEWALL" JACKSON
LYRICS
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ACT I1. GRAND MARCH DIALOGUE 1.2. IN THE SUNNY OLD SOUTH3. THE FREEDOM TRAIN DIALOGUE 2.4. WALTZING IN THE SHADOW5. FARE YOU WELL6. THE DOME DIALOGUE 3.7. PICNIC AT MANASSAS DIALOGUE 4.8. MOCKINGBIRD9. SHILOH DIALOGUE 5.10. THE BALLAD OF BELLE BOYD11. 'MANCIPATION12. THIS ISN'T A GENTLEMAN'S WAR13. THE CONTRABAND BALL
ACT II14. GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED! DIALOGUE 6.15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC16. THE BALLAD OF STONEWALL JACKSON17. MR. BRADY TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH DIALOGUE 7.18. I CAN'T REMEMBER19. FROM ATLANTA TO THE SEA DIALOGUE 8.20. WHAT HAS BECOME OF BEAUTY?21. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?22. GRAND FINALE
ACT II14. GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED! DIALOGUE 6.15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC16. THE BALLAD OF STONEWALL JACKSON17. MR. BRADY TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH DIALOGUE 7.18. I CAN'T REMEMBER19. FROM ATLANTA TO THE SEA DIALOGUE 8.20. WHAT HAS BECOME OF BEAUTY?21. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?22. GRAND FINALE
ACT I
1. GRAND MARCH
The Curtain rises, revealing a semicircle of gilt chairs. TAMBO and BONES come high-stepping on from opposite sides of the stage. They vigorously perform on their respective instruments, the tambourine and bones (clappers). Both TAMBO and BONES are Black.
TAMBOOh tell me, tell me Mister Bones, What's all the news this year?
BONESWhy don't you hear them bugle tones A-spittin' in your ear?
BOTHThere's somethin' comin' round the bendThere's history to be madeWe don't know where it's gonna endBut let's join that parade
There'll be glory, glory in the morning!There'll be glory, glory round the bend!We'll be singing glory hallelujah!There's a great day coming, my friend!
(A GROUP of WHITE SINGERS march on)
CHORUS
WHITE SINGERSWay back in seventeen seventy-fiveWe fought a glorious fight,But hardly a man is now aliveWho saw that glorious sightThe glory of the pioneersWas plain for all to see •••But after nearly ninety years,What's left for you and me?
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUSThere'll be glory, glory in the morningThere'll be glory shining in our eyes!We'll be singing glory hallelujah!What a great big happy surprise!
(MR. BANJO, a black man with a tenor-banjo, struts on. HE is followed by a group of WHITE DANCERS.
Then a group of BLACK SINGERS march on)
BLACK CHORUSYou bought us in our native landAnd brought us to this spot •••So now we are AmericanIf we like it or not!If you got glory on the brainThere ain't no choice for usBut climb aboard that glory trainBe glorious ••• or bust!
ALLThere'll be paths of glory up before us!There'll be clouds of glory trailin' round •••Sing that glory hallelujah chorus!Let 'em hear that we're glory bound!
(A quartet of WHITE SINGERS enter. THEY will become JOHNNY REB, BILLY YANK, THE SOUTHERN BELLE and THE NORTHERN GIRL)
ALL FOURWhat is the glory gonna beThat's comin' into sight?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLThe glory that's in unity?
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRLThe glory of state's rights?Plantation days and collard greens,A life that's full and rich?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLOr stocks and bonds and pork and beans?
ALLWon't someone tell us which?
(With a flourish, MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters)
ALLThere'll be glory, glory in the morning!There'll be glory, glory round the bend!We'll be singing glory, hallelujah!There's a great day comin', my friend!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Spoken)Gentlemen, be seated!
(And the GENTLEMEN are seated in the semicircle with the LADIES standing in back of them, the whole pose reminiscent of early daguerro-type group photos)
TAMBOOh tell me, tell me Mister Bones, What's all the news this year?
BONESWhy don't you hear them bugle tones A-spittin' in your ear?
BOTHThere's somethin' comin' round the bendThere's history to be madeWe don't know where it's gonna endBut let's join that parade
There'll be glory, glory in the morning!There'll be glory, glory round the bend!We'll be singing glory hallelujah!There's a great day coming, my friend!
(A GROUP of WHITE SINGERS march on)
CHORUS
WHITE SINGERSWay back in seventeen seventy-fiveWe fought a glorious fight,But hardly a man is now aliveWho saw that glorious sightThe glory of the pioneersWas plain for all to see •••But after nearly ninety years,What's left for you and me?
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUSThere'll be glory, glory in the morningThere'll be glory shining in our eyes!We'll be singing glory hallelujah!What a great big happy surprise!
(MR. BANJO, a black man with a tenor-banjo, struts on. HE is followed by a group of WHITE DANCERS.
Then a group of BLACK SINGERS march on)
BLACK CHORUSYou bought us in our native landAnd brought us to this spot •••So now we are AmericanIf we like it or not!If you got glory on the brainThere ain't no choice for usBut climb aboard that glory trainBe glorious ••• or bust!
ALLThere'll be paths of glory up before us!There'll be clouds of glory trailin' round •••Sing that glory hallelujah chorus!Let 'em hear that we're glory bound!
(A quartet of WHITE SINGERS enter. THEY will become JOHNNY REB, BILLY YANK, THE SOUTHERN BELLE and THE NORTHERN GIRL)
ALL FOURWhat is the glory gonna beThat's comin' into sight?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLThe glory that's in unity?
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRLThe glory of state's rights?Plantation days and collard greens,A life that's full and rich?
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLOr stocks and bonds and pork and beans?
ALLWon't someone tell us which?
(With a flourish, MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters)
ALLThere'll be glory, glory in the morning!There'll be glory, glory round the bend!We'll be singing glory, hallelujah!There's a great day comin', my friend!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Spoken)Gentlemen, be seated!
(And the GENTLEMEN are seated in the semicircle with the LADIES standing in back of them, the whole pose reminiscent of early daguerro-type group photos)
DIALOGUE 1.
MISTER BONESMister Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORYes, Mr. Bones?
MR. BONESWe been singin' about glory, but what-all is this glory, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWell, you know what Noah Webster says •••
TAMBONoah Webster? Who dat?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhy, Mr. Tambo, Noah Webster wrote the dictionary!
TAMBOLawd, Lawd, he done that? And what do that Noah Webster say?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Produces a Volume and opens it)Well, Mr. Tambo, according to this latest revised edition, copyright this year, IBEO, glory is "Praise, honor, distinction, renown, brilliancy, splendor, celestial bliss, height of prosperity, or a halo."
TAMBOHe say all that?
MR. INTERLOCUTORRight here, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBOThat Noah Webster, he's just confused!
BONESWhere-all is this hyar glory at, Mister Interlocutor?
JOHNNY REB(Standing up)I can answer that, sir. In the South, sir! In the gloriousSouth you'll find the glory of this glorious nation!(HE sits down)
BONESI Will?
JOHNNY REBYes, you will!
BONESI ain't hitherto.
JOHNNY REB(Stands again)I'm not sure, but I think that was a slur on our gracious Southland.
MR. INTERLOCUTORNow, do not get ruffled, sir. Everyone knows the South is the abode of grace and culture, and the birthplace of our Presidents.(JOHNNY sits down)
TAMBO(Slyly)Who knows that, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhy, everybody knows, Mr. Tambo.
(And THEY all begin to sing "In The Sunny Old South")
MR. INTERLOCUTORYes, Mr. Bones?
MR. BONESWe been singin' about glory, but what-all is this glory, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWell, you know what Noah Webster says •••
TAMBONoah Webster? Who dat?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhy, Mr. Tambo, Noah Webster wrote the dictionary!
TAMBOLawd, Lawd, he done that? And what do that Noah Webster say?
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Produces a Volume and opens it)Well, Mr. Tambo, according to this latest revised edition, copyright this year, IBEO, glory is "Praise, honor, distinction, renown, brilliancy, splendor, celestial bliss, height of prosperity, or a halo."
TAMBOHe say all that?
MR. INTERLOCUTORRight here, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBOThat Noah Webster, he's just confused!
BONESWhere-all is this hyar glory at, Mister Interlocutor?
JOHNNY REB(Standing up)I can answer that, sir. In the South, sir! In the gloriousSouth you'll find the glory of this glorious nation!(HE sits down)
BONESI Will?
JOHNNY REBYes, you will!
BONESI ain't hitherto.
JOHNNY REB(Stands again)I'm not sure, but I think that was a slur on our gracious Southland.
MR. INTERLOCUTORNow, do not get ruffled, sir. Everyone knows the South is the abode of grace and culture, and the birthplace of our Presidents.(JOHNNY sits down)
TAMBO(Slyly)Who knows that, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhy, everybody knows, Mr. Tambo.
(And THEY all begin to sing "In The Sunny Old South")
2. IN THE SUNNY OLD SOUTH
ENSEMBLEIn the sunny old SouthPeaches melt in your mouth.
MR. INTERLOCUTORIt's an ever-livin' paradiseSmell the garden full of rose and spiceBobolinks are singin' in the rice,And in other ways the Southland's nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES have come forward and are tap-dancing while the CHORUS SINGS)
CHORUSIt's an ever living paradise, etc.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR stops dancing and listens in amazement as TAMED and BONES sing to him)
TAMED and BONESBut take a look around youand take a look twice!The slave-market's boomin'Up a dandy price.
And there's Eliza runnin'And headin' for the iceBut otherwiseThe Southland's nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES rejoin the OTHERS)
ENSEMBLEHear that old whip-poor-willHe won't never be still.
MR. INTERLOCUTORAnd it does a person good to seeAll the workhands singin' harmonyUnderneath the old crepe-myrtle treeAnd in other ways the South's for me!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR TAMBO and BONES come forward again and dance)
CHORUSAnd it does a person good to see, Etc.
(MR INTERLOCUTOR is again amazed as TAMBO and BONES sing to him)
TAMBO and BONESBut take a walk out yonderPast the crepe-myrtle treewhere Uncle Tom's dyin'Out in Cabin Three
And the whip that your're hearin'Is Simon LegreeBut otherwiseThe South's for me.
CHORUS WOMEN (Coming forward as THEY sing)There's a noble stair-case curvin'In the mansion's lofty hail.Ain't the whole thing worth preservin'When you come to look at it all?
TAMBO and BONESThe climate's unhealthy when the wet dews fallAnd Little Eva's list'nin' for the Angel's call,But Mrs. St. Clair is still havin' a ball!
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUS WOMENOh ain't it worth preservin'when you look at it all?
(The OTHER GROUPS rise and come forward)
ENSEMBLEThey've got family prideAnd magnolias beside
ENSEMBLE (Whites)See the watermelon on the vineIt's as pretty as a ditty on a valentine
ENSEMBLE (Black)But the cry of the whip-poor-will can be a signThat the underground railroad is startin' down the line.
ENSEMBLE (All)The underground railroad is startin' down the lineThe cry of the whip-poor-will will be a sign
Whip-poor-willWhip-poor will
ENSEMBLE (Black)The Underground RailroadIs gonna undermineThe mansion and the staircaseAnd the pretty valentine
And the cry of the whip-poor-willCan be a sign!But otherwiseThe Southland's fine!
(The MEMBERS of the ORCHESTRA whistle the 'whip-poor-will' call as the BLACK SINGERS move to the front of the stage)
MR. INTERLOCUTORIt's an ever-livin' paradiseSmell the garden full of rose and spiceBobolinks are singin' in the rice,And in other ways the Southland's nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES have come forward and are tap-dancing while the CHORUS SINGS)
CHORUSIt's an ever living paradise, etc.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR stops dancing and listens in amazement as TAMED and BONES sing to him)
TAMED and BONESBut take a look around youand take a look twice!The slave-market's boomin'Up a dandy price.
And there's Eliza runnin'And headin' for the iceBut otherwiseThe Southland's nice.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONES rejoin the OTHERS)
ENSEMBLEHear that old whip-poor-willHe won't never be still.
MR. INTERLOCUTORAnd it does a person good to seeAll the workhands singin' harmonyUnderneath the old crepe-myrtle treeAnd in other ways the South's for me!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR TAMBO and BONES come forward again and dance)
CHORUSAnd it does a person good to see, Etc.
(MR INTERLOCUTOR is again amazed as TAMBO and BONES sing to him)
TAMBO and BONESBut take a walk out yonderPast the crepe-myrtle treewhere Uncle Tom's dyin'Out in Cabin Three
And the whip that your're hearin'Is Simon LegreeBut otherwiseThe South's for me.
CHORUS WOMEN (Coming forward as THEY sing)There's a noble stair-case curvin'In the mansion's lofty hail.Ain't the whole thing worth preservin'When you come to look at it all?
TAMBO and BONESThe climate's unhealthy when the wet dews fallAnd Little Eva's list'nin' for the Angel's call,But Mrs. St. Clair is still havin' a ball!
TAMBO, BONES and CHORUS WOMENOh ain't it worth preservin'when you look at it all?
(The OTHER GROUPS rise and come forward)
ENSEMBLEThey've got family prideAnd magnolias beside
ENSEMBLE (Whites)See the watermelon on the vineIt's as pretty as a ditty on a valentine
ENSEMBLE (Black)But the cry of the whip-poor-will can be a signThat the underground railroad is startin' down the line.
ENSEMBLE (All)The underground railroad is startin' down the lineThe cry of the whip-poor-will will be a sign
Whip-poor-willWhip-poor will
ENSEMBLE (Black)The Underground RailroadIs gonna undermineThe mansion and the staircaseAnd the pretty valentine
And the cry of the whip-poor-willCan be a sign!But otherwiseThe Southland's fine!
(The MEMBERS of the ORCHESTRA whistle the 'whip-poor-will' call as the BLACK SINGERS move to the front of the stage)
3. THE FREEDOM TRAIN
A curtain is drawn between the PEOPLE in the foreground and the MEMBERS of the MINSTREL CIRCLE. Out of the shadows looms the monumental figure of a CONTRALTO SOLOIST
SOLO CONTRALTOWhip-poor-will fly closeCall round the cabinTellin' my peopleIt's time for them to go.
North star wi11 guide meBig water will help meLeading' my peopleAlong the way they go.
(As SHE sings, the GROUP begins to do pantomimic movement in the back - ground)
Sarah, 'Lijah, look out t he window.Daniel, Dinah, look out the door.Look a-way over yonderWhat are you all waitin' for?
Remember Harriet Tubman?I slaved in the field as strong as a manRemember Harriet TubmanOn the freedom train away I ran!
The freedom train don't ride no trackThe freedom train don't ride no steel-built trackBut it takes you where they can't fetch you backThe freedom train that's under the ground.
Sarah 'Lijah don't look behind youDaniel, Dinah, run through the night!Look away over yonderKeep that old north star in sight!
Just follow Harriet TubmanWith a price on my head and a dream in my brain!Just follow Harriet TubmanA-leadin' my people on the freedom train.
The freedom train don't have no carThe freedom train don t have no plush-seat carBut it takes you where only free men areThe freedom train that's under the Ground.
If we run and hide, if we sweat and strainSpite of cold and sun spite of fear and painWe'll reach the next station on the freedom trainOn the train that's under the ground.
Now the very first station's a potato holeWith the succulent yams in the potato holeBut a-hidin' with the yams is human soulsOn the train that's under the ground.
And at every station is a friend with friends.And at every station is a friend with friendsWho will help you on to your journey's endOn the train that's under the ground.
Sarah, 'Lijah, sing hallelujahDaniel, Dinah sing jubileeLook away over yonderEvery inch o' land is free
Good-bye to Harriet Tubman'Cause now I'm steppin' back South again,Good-bye to Harriet TubmanI'll lead more people on the freedom train!
The freedom train ain't t run by steamThe freedom train ain't run by power of steamIt is run by our hands ds and hopes and dreamsThe freedom train that's under the ground.
SOLO CONTRALTOWhip-poor-will fly closeCall round the cabinTellin' my peopleIt's time for them to go.
North star wi11 guide meBig water will help meLeading' my peopleAlong the way they go.
(As SHE sings, the GROUP begins to do pantomimic movement in the back - ground)
Sarah, 'Lijah, look out t he window.Daniel, Dinah, look out the door.Look a-way over yonderWhat are you all waitin' for?
Remember Harriet Tubman?I slaved in the field as strong as a manRemember Harriet TubmanOn the freedom train away I ran!
The freedom train don't ride no trackThe freedom train don't ride no steel-built trackBut it takes you where they can't fetch you backThe freedom train that's under the ground.
Sarah 'Lijah don't look behind youDaniel, Dinah, run through the night!Look away over yonderKeep that old north star in sight!
Just follow Harriet TubmanWith a price on my head and a dream in my brain!Just follow Harriet TubmanA-leadin' my people on the freedom train.
The freedom train don't have no carThe freedom train don t have no plush-seat carBut it takes you where only free men areThe freedom train that's under the Ground.
If we run and hide, if we sweat and strainSpite of cold and sun spite of fear and painWe'll reach the next station on the freedom trainOn the train that's under the ground.
Now the very first station's a potato holeWith the succulent yams in the potato holeBut a-hidin' with the yams is human soulsOn the train that's under the ground.
And at every station is a friend with friends.And at every station is a friend with friendsWho will help you on to your journey's endOn the train that's under the ground.
Sarah, 'Lijah, sing hallelujahDaniel, Dinah sing jubileeLook away over yonderEvery inch o' land is free
Good-bye to Harriet Tubman'Cause now I'm steppin' back South again,Good-bye to Harriet TubmanI'll lead more people on the freedom train!
The freedom train ain't t run by steamThe freedom train ain't run by power of steamIt is run by our hands ds and hopes and dreamsThe freedom train that's under the ground.
DIALOGUE 2.
TAMBOYou goin' on this hyah Freedom Train, Mister Bones?
BONESDat ah don't know. If I gits on that Freedom Train, where'll I git?
TAMBOYou'll git up North among them Yankees, an' folks round here say them Yankee bolitionists am the very devil.
BONESWhat they want to bolition, Mister Tambo?
TAMBOThey want to bolition us, Mister Bones.
BONESI wasn't aimin' yet to be bolitioned.
TAMBOWhy Mister Bones, them Yankees feel so strong about bolitionin' they got a boatload o' sojers outside the harbor tryin' to land an' do it … an' the Southern gemmum is got guns set all round the harbor to bolition the bolitionists! … an' folks is givin' a big party while they waits around for the guns to go bang.
BONESWhat kind of party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBOA celebration party, Mister Bones … an' I got to git on down to pick mint for the juleps.
BONESWhat kind of a party am a celebration party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBOWhy Mr. Bones, a celebration party is when you wait for the guns to go bang ... an' folks say them guns'll go bang this very night cause de crisis done come.
BONESWhat-all's a crisis, Mister Tambo?
TAMBODat ah don't know, Mister Bones, but it done come.
BONESWhat'll them guns fire at, Mister Tambo?
TAMEDIf de Crisis done come, I specks dey'll be firin' at de crisis.
BONESDat ah don't know. If I gits on that Freedom Train, where'll I git?
TAMBOYou'll git up North among them Yankees, an' folks round here say them Yankee bolitionists am the very devil.
BONESWhat they want to bolition, Mister Tambo?
TAMBOThey want to bolition us, Mister Bones.
BONESI wasn't aimin' yet to be bolitioned.
TAMBOWhy Mister Bones, them Yankees feel so strong about bolitionin' they got a boatload o' sojers outside the harbor tryin' to land an' do it … an' the Southern gemmum is got guns set all round the harbor to bolition the bolitionists! … an' folks is givin' a big party while they waits around for the guns to go bang.
BONESWhat kind of party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBOA celebration party, Mister Bones … an' I got to git on down to pick mint for the juleps.
BONESWhat kind of a party am a celebration party, Mr. Tambo?
TAMBOWhy Mr. Bones, a celebration party is when you wait for the guns to go bang ... an' folks say them guns'll go bang this very night cause de crisis done come.
BONESWhat-all's a crisis, Mister Tambo?
TAMBODat ah don't know, Mister Bones, but it done come.
BONESWhat'll them guns fire at, Mister Tambo?
TAMEDIf de Crisis done come, I specks dey'll be firin' at de crisis.
4. WALTZING IN THE SHADOW
WALTZING COUPLES fill the stage in front of a scrim. The last to enter are MISS FLORIDA COTTON (solo dancer) and MR. INTERLOCUTOR.
The lights come up behind the scrim on the ballroom of an ante-bellum Southern mansion in Charleston, SC. .
The couples dance off and reappear in back of the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON dances with JOHNNY REB. MR. INTERLOCUTOR remains alone in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTORWe're waltzing in the shadowWe're waiting in the darkAnd almost any minuteOur hearts may strike a sparkTo set the whole world blazingAnd burn the sky in twoBut now it's too soonSo strike up the tuneWe'll waltz until they do.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances off. The scene continues behind the scrim.)
LADIESI declare. I declare!Look at the men all fall into her snareShe just came from dear-me-knows whereAnd we’re certain there’s dye in her hair.
MENDoes she care? Does she care?Not so you’d know from her delicate air,The smile she continues to wear!
We could drown in the brown of her hair
JOHNNY REBMiss Florida Cotton of FloridaShe shook all my life quite apart!We waltzed down the room and the corridorAnd she waltzed eight int my heart!Oh, some girls it seems may dance round in your dreamsAnd then fade like a lost memoryBut Miss Florida Cotton will not be forgottenAs long as my heart srill can beat one, two, three!
The ballroom scene continues as MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes forward in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTORLook ‘cross the bay, look ‘cross the bay.Is Fort Sumter still standing out there?Aren’t there any bombs bursting in air?Why, there’s no bombs at all, I declare!And so to the waltz againAlthough we may dance on the brink.Keep twisting, keep turning,It’s too late for learning,Keep twirling, keep whirling, don’t think!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR and MENWe’re waltzing in the shadowWe’re watching through the nightAnd almost any minuteThe word may come to fightOne shot may still the musicAnd set the sky aflameBut till it is heardWe won’t say a wordKeep waltzing just the same.
As MR. INTERLOCUTOR leaves, the dancers come around from behind the scrim and fill the front of the stage. THE SOUTHERN GIRL (Willie May) dances with BILLY YANK, but keeps an eye on JOHNNY REB who flirts with MISS FLORIDA COTTON.
The dancers go off behind the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON, JOHNNY REB, THE SOUTHERN GIRL, and BILLY YANK are left alone. MISS FLORIDA COTTON suddenly rushes away from JOHNNY REB to join the others.
JOHNNY REBHave you noticed Miss Florida Cotton in there?Ain’t she makin’ the gentlemen stare?Don’t she light up the air dancin’ so debonairWith such form an’ such fashion and flair?
MISS FLORIDA COTTON comes running out again. She whirls about the stage for a moment and then swings JOHNNY REB back into the waltz.
SOUTHERN GIRLJohnny!
JOHNNY REBJust a minute, Willie May!
They move off to join the others behind the scrim. WILLIE MAY is alone with BILLY YANK.
BILLY YANKWillie May, what is it?I’ve noticed it all through my visit,There’s something that’s causing you pain;Is it Johnny?
SOUTHERN GIRLI reckon it’s plain.
BILLY YANKShall I speak to him? I think somebody should.I’m his cousin; I can, if anyone could.
WILLIE MAY is on the verge of tears.
SOUTHERN GIRLOh, Billy, you’re just too good.
You’re real noticin’, for a Yankee.
As JOHNNY REB and MISS FLORIDA COTTON dance on again, THE SOUTHERN GIRL runs off, crying. BILLY YANK walks over and pulls JOHNNY REB aside to talk to him. Throughout this episode, MISS FLORIDA COTTON minces about on the other side of the stage.
BILLY YANKCousin Johnny! Willie May’s gone to cry in her room.I leave you to guess cause of whom!
JOHNNY REBIf maybe I flirted s bit,And welcomed a guest with gallantry,There’s no need to get into a snit;It was only South’ren chivalry.
BILLY YANKIn Boston when we say a thing,We mean the thing we say.
JOHNNY REBWe may not choose to lead our livesAs you do in Buzzard Bay.
BILLY YANKI’d trade your South’ren chivalryFr the old New England way!
JOHNNY REBIf you don’t like South’ren chivalry,Why not go home today?
JOHNNY RED goes off in a fury. BILLY YANK, equally angry, turns, and in silhouette, listens to the couples promenading behind the scrim.
LADIESIt’s out well-considered opinionWhen speakin’ of breedin’ and such,
If a person’s not South Carolinian,A person’s not anything much!
MENWe’ll fight to defend our dominionAnd, soon as they fire that first shell,The hearts that are South CarolinianWill drive those damn Yankees to Hell!
As BILLY YANK rushes off, the scrim rises, and the waltz sweeps over the full stage.
ENSEMBLEAh! We’re waltzing in the shadowWe’re dancing on the brinkSo play the music fasterAnd leave no time to think.The big event that’s comingMay cast its shade beforeBut shadows will flyAnd we’ll see on highThe bright red dawn of war.
But shadows will flyWe’ll see in the skyThe bright red dawn –
(A cannon shot booms out. MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes on)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Speaks)The dance is over, gentlemen. SouthCarolina has just fired on Fort Sumter.
THE SOUTHERN GIRL(Speaks with patriotic fervor)Heaven save us,Jefferson Davis.
ENSEMBLEIt's war!
The lights come up behind the scrim on the ballroom of an ante-bellum Southern mansion in Charleston, SC. .
The couples dance off and reappear in back of the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON dances with JOHNNY REB. MR. INTERLOCUTOR remains alone in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTORWe're waltzing in the shadowWe're waiting in the darkAnd almost any minuteOur hearts may strike a sparkTo set the whole world blazingAnd burn the sky in twoBut now it's too soonSo strike up the tuneWe'll waltz until they do.
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances off. The scene continues behind the scrim.)
LADIESI declare. I declare!Look at the men all fall into her snareShe just came from dear-me-knows whereAnd we’re certain there’s dye in her hair.
MENDoes she care? Does she care?Not so you’d know from her delicate air,The smile she continues to wear!
We could drown in the brown of her hair
JOHNNY REBMiss Florida Cotton of FloridaShe shook all my life quite apart!We waltzed down the room and the corridorAnd she waltzed eight int my heart!Oh, some girls it seems may dance round in your dreamsAnd then fade like a lost memoryBut Miss Florida Cotton will not be forgottenAs long as my heart srill can beat one, two, three!
The ballroom scene continues as MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes forward in front of the scrim.
MR. INTERLOCUTORLook ‘cross the bay, look ‘cross the bay.Is Fort Sumter still standing out there?Aren’t there any bombs bursting in air?Why, there’s no bombs at all, I declare!And so to the waltz againAlthough we may dance on the brink.Keep twisting, keep turning,It’s too late for learning,Keep twirling, keep whirling, don’t think!
MR. INTERLOCUTOR and MENWe’re waltzing in the shadowWe’re watching through the nightAnd almost any minuteThe word may come to fightOne shot may still the musicAnd set the sky aflameBut till it is heardWe won’t say a wordKeep waltzing just the same.
As MR. INTERLOCUTOR leaves, the dancers come around from behind the scrim and fill the front of the stage. THE SOUTHERN GIRL (Willie May) dances with BILLY YANK, but keeps an eye on JOHNNY REB who flirts with MISS FLORIDA COTTON.
The dancers go off behind the scrim. MISS FLORIDA COTTON, JOHNNY REB, THE SOUTHERN GIRL, and BILLY YANK are left alone. MISS FLORIDA COTTON suddenly rushes away from JOHNNY REB to join the others.
JOHNNY REBHave you noticed Miss Florida Cotton in there?Ain’t she makin’ the gentlemen stare?Don’t she light up the air dancin’ so debonairWith such form an’ such fashion and flair?
MISS FLORIDA COTTON comes running out again. She whirls about the stage for a moment and then swings JOHNNY REB back into the waltz.
SOUTHERN GIRLJohnny!
JOHNNY REBJust a minute, Willie May!
They move off to join the others behind the scrim. WILLIE MAY is alone with BILLY YANK.
BILLY YANKWillie May, what is it?I’ve noticed it all through my visit,There’s something that’s causing you pain;Is it Johnny?
SOUTHERN GIRLI reckon it’s plain.
BILLY YANKShall I speak to him? I think somebody should.I’m his cousin; I can, if anyone could.
WILLIE MAY is on the verge of tears.
SOUTHERN GIRLOh, Billy, you’re just too good.
You’re real noticin’, for a Yankee.
As JOHNNY REB and MISS FLORIDA COTTON dance on again, THE SOUTHERN GIRL runs off, crying. BILLY YANK walks over and pulls JOHNNY REB aside to talk to him. Throughout this episode, MISS FLORIDA COTTON minces about on the other side of the stage.
BILLY YANKCousin Johnny! Willie May’s gone to cry in her room.I leave you to guess cause of whom!
JOHNNY REBIf maybe I flirted s bit,And welcomed a guest with gallantry,There’s no need to get into a snit;It was only South’ren chivalry.
BILLY YANKIn Boston when we say a thing,We mean the thing we say.
JOHNNY REBWe may not choose to lead our livesAs you do in Buzzard Bay.
BILLY YANKI’d trade your South’ren chivalryFr the old New England way!
JOHNNY REBIf you don’t like South’ren chivalry,Why not go home today?
JOHNNY RED goes off in a fury. BILLY YANK, equally angry, turns, and in silhouette, listens to the couples promenading behind the scrim.
LADIESIt’s out well-considered opinionWhen speakin’ of breedin’ and such,
If a person’s not South Carolinian,A person’s not anything much!
MENWe’ll fight to defend our dominionAnd, soon as they fire that first shell,The hearts that are South CarolinianWill drive those damn Yankees to Hell!
As BILLY YANK rushes off, the scrim rises, and the waltz sweeps over the full stage.
ENSEMBLEAh! We’re waltzing in the shadowWe’re dancing on the brinkSo play the music fasterAnd leave no time to think.The big event that’s comingMay cast its shade beforeBut shadows will flyAnd we’ll see on highThe bright red dawn of war.
But shadows will flyWe’ll see in the skyThe bright red dawn –
(A cannon shot booms out. MR. INTERLOCUTOR comes on)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Speaks)The dance is over, gentlemen. SouthCarolina has just fired on Fort Sumter.
THE SOUTHERN GIRL(Speaks with patriotic fervor)Heaven save us,Jefferson Davis.
ENSEMBLEIt's war!
5. FARE YOU WELL
JOHNNY REB and the SOUTHERN GIRL stand at one side of the stage SHE is holding a confederate uniform jacket.
SOUTHERN GIRLI know you will fightFor the rightAnd I know you will winCause you're in the right
And You'll come home to somebodysome fine dayIn your beautiful uniformof grey
JOHNNY REBI'll come home to you some dayIn my uniform of grey.
Fare you wellHowever long I wanderFare you wellHowever far I roam
If my heart stays hereWithin your handI'll walk a stranger's landWith part of me at home.
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRLEvery endMay lead to a beginningRoads I takeMay turn and bring me near.
Someday I'll lookAnd see you standing here againFare you well ...very well …Till then.
(THE SOUTHERN GIRL helps JOHNNY REB change into his uniform jacket. The lights have come up on the other side of the stage where the NORTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK are duplicating the actions of the other two. As the NORTHERN GIRL starts to sing, the lights fade on the SOUTHERN COUPLE)
NORTHERN GIRLI know you will fightFor the rightAnd I know you will winCause you're in the right
And you'll come home to somebody good as newIn your beautiful uniform of blue.
BILLY YANKSomeday I'll come home to youIn my uniform of blueFare you wellHowever long I wanderFare you wellHowever far I roam
If my heart stays herewithin your handI'll walk a strangers landWith part of me at home.
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLEvery endMay lead to a beginningRoads I takeMay turn and bring me near.
Some day I'll lookAnd see you standing here againFare you well …Very well …Till then …
(THEY go off).
SOUTHERN GIRLI know you will fightFor the rightAnd I know you will winCause you're in the right
And You'll come home to somebodysome fine dayIn your beautiful uniformof grey
JOHNNY REBI'll come home to you some dayIn my uniform of grey.
Fare you wellHowever long I wanderFare you wellHowever far I roam
If my heart stays hereWithin your handI'll walk a stranger's landWith part of me at home.
JOHNNY REB and SOUTHERN GIRLEvery endMay lead to a beginningRoads I takeMay turn and bring me near.
Someday I'll lookAnd see you standing here againFare you well ...very well …Till then.
(THE SOUTHERN GIRL helps JOHNNY REB change into his uniform jacket. The lights have come up on the other side of the stage where the NORTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK are duplicating the actions of the other two. As the NORTHERN GIRL starts to sing, the lights fade on the SOUTHERN COUPLE)
NORTHERN GIRLI know you will fightFor the rightAnd I know you will winCause you're in the right
And you'll come home to somebody good as newIn your beautiful uniform of blue.
BILLY YANKSomeday I'll come home to youIn my uniform of blueFare you wellHowever long I wanderFare you wellHowever far I roam
If my heart stays herewithin your handI'll walk a strangers landWith part of me at home.
BILLY YANK and NORTHERN GIRLEvery endMay lead to a beginningRoads I takeMay turn and bring me near.
Some day I'll lookAnd see you standing here againFare you well …Very well …Till then …
(THEY go off).
6. THE DOME
The curtain rises on the central oval drop with an insert showing the Capitol, Washington D.C. as it was in 1861, with the dome as yet unbuilt, MR. BANJO comes out followed by TAMBO and BONES.
TAMBOOh, Mister Bones, please put me wise,What city might this be?
BONESWhy, Mr. Tambo, use your eyesThis is Washington D.C.!Let's go and ring Marse Linkum's bellAnd see if he's at home.
TAMBOIt 'pears this here's the CapitolBut it hasn't got a dome!
BONESIt hasn't got a dome!
TAMBOHow come?
BONESIt hasn't got a dome?
TAMBOHow come?
BONESIt 'pears this here's the Capitol.
TAMBO and BONESBut it hasn't got a dome!
(THE? do a few dance steps. MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances on)
BONESOh, Mister Interlocutor,Please exercise your wit.If that there's our head buildin', sir,Then why ain't they finished it?
MR. INTERLOCUTORUp out of empty wildernessWe've struggled and we've clomb
BONESBut if we're such a big success,Why ain't we got a dome?
TAMBOWhy ain't we got a dome?
BONESDo tell!
TAMBOWhy ain't we got a dome?
BONESDo tell!
TAMBOIf we are such a big success Then why ain't we got a dome!
(THEY all three dance)
MR. INTERLOCUTOROh, we've been building sixty yearsA-making Washington,Though to some critics it appearsWe have only just begun
We had a lofty dream in mindTo rival Greece and Rome,And as the climax we designedUs a noble cast-iron dome!
But Rome declined away one fall,And Greece dissolved from view,And we grew lackadaisicalAbout our vision, too!
The symbol that should take the stage,As perfect as a pome,Now sits around in middle ageStill awaiting for its dome!
TAMBO and BONESStill waiting for its dome.
MR. INTERLOCUTORPoor thing!
TAMBO and BONESIt sits around in middle ageStill awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTORStill awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONESStill awaiting for its dome!
(BILLY YANK and the UNION SOLDIERS erupt on stage. BILLY YANK salutes MR. INTERLOCUTOR and speaks to him)
BILLY YANKOh, Mr. Seargeant, tell me, doWhere are our barracks at?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWe have no barracks built for youSo you'll have to sleep in that!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR points to the Capitol)
TENORThen I will be a Senator!
BASSThe House will be my home
BILLY YANKAnd I'll sleep in the RotundaUnda that bald-headed dome!
(There is wild confusion and the MEN rush to get settled)
*MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Whistles through two fingers)'Tenshun!Fall in!
(The Men fall in and MR. INTERLOCUTOR begins to drill them. This is done through an antiphonal tap-dance. MR. INTERLOCUTOR demonstrates and the MEN repeat his steps. When HE gives them something difficult to do, like push-ups, HE rests nonchalantly against the proscenium, beating out the time with his taps; and if THEY try to sneak off, thinking HE is not watching, HE catches them and orders them back into the drill line with a volley of taps. THEY all finally reach a staccato of violently energetic steps and dance off)
* If MR. INTERLOCUTOR cannot tap-dance, MR. TAPS can be introduced to lead the dance portion of the number.
TAMBOOh, Mister Bones, please put me wise,What city might this be?
BONESWhy, Mr. Tambo, use your eyesThis is Washington D.C.!Let's go and ring Marse Linkum's bellAnd see if he's at home.
TAMBOIt 'pears this here's the CapitolBut it hasn't got a dome!
BONESIt hasn't got a dome!
TAMBOHow come?
BONESIt hasn't got a dome?
TAMBOHow come?
BONESIt 'pears this here's the Capitol.
TAMBO and BONESBut it hasn't got a dome!
(THE? do a few dance steps. MR. INTERLOCUTOR dances on)
BONESOh, Mister Interlocutor,Please exercise your wit.If that there's our head buildin', sir,Then why ain't they finished it?
MR. INTERLOCUTORUp out of empty wildernessWe've struggled and we've clomb
BONESBut if we're such a big success,Why ain't we got a dome?
TAMBOWhy ain't we got a dome?
BONESDo tell!
TAMBOWhy ain't we got a dome?
BONESDo tell!
TAMBOIf we are such a big success Then why ain't we got a dome!
(THEY all three dance)
MR. INTERLOCUTOROh, we've been building sixty yearsA-making Washington,Though to some critics it appearsWe have only just begun
We had a lofty dream in mindTo rival Greece and Rome,And as the climax we designedUs a noble cast-iron dome!
But Rome declined away one fall,And Greece dissolved from view,And we grew lackadaisicalAbout our vision, too!
The symbol that should take the stage,As perfect as a pome,Now sits around in middle ageStill awaiting for its dome!
TAMBO and BONESStill waiting for its dome.
MR. INTERLOCUTORPoor thing!
TAMBO and BONESIt sits around in middle ageStill awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTORStill awaiting for
MR. INTERLOCUTOR, TAMBO and BONESStill awaiting for its dome!
(BILLY YANK and the UNION SOLDIERS erupt on stage. BILLY YANK salutes MR. INTERLOCUTOR and speaks to him)
BILLY YANKOh, Mr. Seargeant, tell me, doWhere are our barracks at?
MR. INTERLOCUTORWe have no barracks built for youSo you'll have to sleep in that!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR points to the Capitol)
TENORThen I will be a Senator!
BASSThe House will be my home
BILLY YANKAnd I'll sleep in the RotundaUnda that bald-headed dome!
(There is wild confusion and the MEN rush to get settled)
*MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Whistles through two fingers)'Tenshun!Fall in!
(The Men fall in and MR. INTERLOCUTOR begins to drill them. This is done through an antiphonal tap-dance. MR. INTERLOCUTOR demonstrates and the MEN repeat his steps. When HE gives them something difficult to do, like push-ups, HE rests nonchalantly against the proscenium, beating out the time with his taps; and if THEY try to sneak off, thinking HE is not watching, HE catches them and orders them back into the drill line with a volley of taps. THEY all finally reach a staccato of violently energetic steps and dance off)
* If MR. INTERLOCUTOR cannot tap-dance, MR. TAPS can be introduced to lead the dance portion of the number.
DIALOGUE 3.
BONESThat's a might smart regiment they just drilled up.
TAMBOLooks kinda stupid to me.
BONESWhy, Mr. Tambo, them boys is goin off to fight for their country. It will be the first battle of the war and they'll fight to their last drop of blood.
TAMBOThey may fight to the last drop of blood, but will they fight till the first drop?
BONESMr. Tambo, you is a Philistine!
(The DOWAGER enters with her DAUGHTER in tow. The DAUGHTER (ERMYNTRUDE) is a large gawky girl. The DOWAGER is played by the COMEDIENNE, the last of the principals to be introduced)
DOWAGERTambo, Bones! Did you get the carriage?
BONESIt's waiting without, Main.
DOWAGERWithout what?
BONESWithout the horse, Main.
DOWAGERDid you get a good one?
TAMBOWell, Mam, he's got a few failings.
DOWAGERWhat kind of failings?
TAMBOJust a little blindness and a little deafness. Outside of that you'll find him all sorts of a horse.
DOWAGERWell, go harness this Pegasus ... And don't forget to ice the champagne ... And fetch the cold collation.
TAMBO and BONESYes, Mam. Yes, Mam.
(TAMBO and BONES go off as the DOWAGER screams her last instructions after them)
DOWAGERIf we don't hurry we'll be late for the best seats.
ERMYN TRUDEMa, I'm scared,
DOWAGERNonsense, Ermyntrude. There's not the slightest danger.Everyone will be there.
(THE SENATOR enters)
DOWAGERLook, there's the Senator. Smile, Ermyntrude, smile!
TAMBOLooks kinda stupid to me.
BONESWhy, Mr. Tambo, them boys is goin off to fight for their country. It will be the first battle of the war and they'll fight to their last drop of blood.
TAMBOThey may fight to the last drop of blood, but will they fight till the first drop?
BONESMr. Tambo, you is a Philistine!
(The DOWAGER enters with her DAUGHTER in tow. The DAUGHTER (ERMYNTRUDE) is a large gawky girl. The DOWAGER is played by the COMEDIENNE, the last of the principals to be introduced)
DOWAGERTambo, Bones! Did you get the carriage?
BONESIt's waiting without, Main.
DOWAGERWithout what?
BONESWithout the horse, Main.
DOWAGERDid you get a good one?
TAMBOWell, Mam, he's got a few failings.
DOWAGERWhat kind of failings?
TAMBOJust a little blindness and a little deafness. Outside of that you'll find him all sorts of a horse.
DOWAGERWell, go harness this Pegasus ... And don't forget to ice the champagne ... And fetch the cold collation.
TAMBO and BONESYes, Mam. Yes, Mam.
(TAMBO and BONES go off as the DOWAGER screams her last instructions after them)
DOWAGERIf we don't hurry we'll be late for the best seats.
ERMYN TRUDEMa, I'm scared,
DOWAGERNonsense, Ermyntrude. There's not the slightest danger.Everyone will be there.
(THE SENATOR enters)
DOWAGERLook, there's the Senator. Smile, Ermyntrude, smile!
7. PICNIC AT MANASSAS
DOWAGERDear Senator, this is delightful!You know my daughter Ermyntrude?Ermyntrude, speak to the Senator.Ermyntrude, speak to the Senator!
ErmyntrudeHowdy-do
SENATORHowdy-do
DOWAGERDear Senator, isn't it frightful?Yet isn't it thrilling, too?Our wonderful boys in blue todayAre fighting those horrible boys in grey!
Won't it be rather fun?They're meeting them at Bull Run!Bull Run! What a name! So vulgar, quite suggestive!Bull Run!
I prefer to call it Manassas.We will all be there in masses.There isn't a seat to be had,But we would be only too gladIf you wouldn't disparageA place in my carriageErmyntrudeWon't we be glad?
Oh, the picnic at Manassas.Just ev'ry one will be there.We will take our op'ra glassesAnd we'll share in the mad affair.
We will sit in the offing,(No spitting, no coughing)And share in the mad affairOh the picnic at ManassasEveryone will be there!
With each minie shell our hearts will swellThe foe will lie low in defeatWe will shout "Hurrah!' eating pate-de-foie gras.What a beautiful picnic treat!
(A HORSE, played by TWO Men, draws a carriage on the stage. The DOWAGER is delighted and greets the equipage with Wagnerian intensity.
The SENATOR helps the LADIES into the carriage. During the refrain, the HORSE executes a small dance, in place, as the card with the picture of the domeless Capitol is moved out of the oval frame and is replaced first by one of the countryside and then of one of the battlefield. The dance and the movement of the scenic cards shuld suggest the journey to the picnic grounds)
DOWAGER (Continued)Oh, the picnic at Manassas!It is the event of the year,Champagne will fill our glassesAs we join in a mighty cheer.
(To the HORSE)When our Boys are appearingNo bucking! No rearing!But join in a mighty cheer.
Oh, the picnic at ManassasIt's the event of the year.
(The SENATOR hands the LADIES down from the carriage)
Oh, isn't it bliss? We will have all thisAnd cucumber sandwiches, too.
(To the SENATOR, as HE hands her down)Yes, thanks a lot. What a heavenly spot!What a beautiful picnic view!
(ERMYNTRUDE and the SENATOR are busy opening baskets, arranging the picnic as the DOWAGER marches around delightedly.
ERMYNTRUDE looks off to the side. SHE is frightened)
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I see some running men!Oh, say, what can it be?
DOWAGERStrategic retreat, dear!Do have a pickled beet, dear.You must have something to eat, dear.And pass the pastry to me!
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I see some running men!Oh, my, how wild they seem!
DOWAGERIt's the enemy in flight, dear.After all, that's only right, dearOh, ain't it a glorious sight, dear?Senator, lemon or cream?
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I saw a man fall down!His life how can we save?
DOWAGERIt's a rebel who's hurt, dear.He's had his just dessert, dear.Is that blood on his shirt, dear?That will teach him to behave.
SENATOROh, Madam, I fear we're in danger hereOur boys are defeated, they say.Why don't we go home right away?
ERMYNTRUDE and SENATORWhy don't we go home right away?
(SOLDIERS and CIVILIAN SPECTATORS tear wildly across the stage, fleeing. They bump into the DOWAGER, knocking her about as THEY pass. THEY step on the luncheon things. The SENATOR and ERMYNTRUDE join them and run off. The horse, Dobbin, which has been rearing and bucking, rushes off after the last of them)
DOWAGERHow cowardly! How caddish!Have some celery!Have a radish!Senator, you're no gentleman!Ermyntrude, wait!Dobbin, whoa!Dobbin, whoa!The picnic at Manassas,I'm demanding my money back!We have let the foe surpass us,And just look at my seal-skin sacque!
And my lovely new bonnet,Someone stepped right on it,And look at my seal-skin sacque!Oh, the picnic at Manassas!I'm demanding my money back!
Now it's starting to rain and I shall complain!I'm furious, thwarted, and foiled!They have lost Bull Run, and they've ruined my funAnd my beautiful picnic's spoiled.
(SHE throws her battered bonnet to the ground and stomps off)
ErmyntrudeHowdy-do
SENATORHowdy-do
DOWAGERDear Senator, isn't it frightful?Yet isn't it thrilling, too?Our wonderful boys in blue todayAre fighting those horrible boys in grey!
Won't it be rather fun?They're meeting them at Bull Run!Bull Run! What a name! So vulgar, quite suggestive!Bull Run!
I prefer to call it Manassas.We will all be there in masses.There isn't a seat to be had,But we would be only too gladIf you wouldn't disparageA place in my carriageErmyntrudeWon't we be glad?
Oh, the picnic at Manassas.Just ev'ry one will be there.We will take our op'ra glassesAnd we'll share in the mad affair.
We will sit in the offing,(No spitting, no coughing)And share in the mad affairOh the picnic at ManassasEveryone will be there!
With each minie shell our hearts will swellThe foe will lie low in defeatWe will shout "Hurrah!' eating pate-de-foie gras.What a beautiful picnic treat!
(A HORSE, played by TWO Men, draws a carriage on the stage. The DOWAGER is delighted and greets the equipage with Wagnerian intensity.
The SENATOR helps the LADIES into the carriage. During the refrain, the HORSE executes a small dance, in place, as the card with the picture of the domeless Capitol is moved out of the oval frame and is replaced first by one of the countryside and then of one of the battlefield. The dance and the movement of the scenic cards shuld suggest the journey to the picnic grounds)
DOWAGER (Continued)Oh, the picnic at Manassas!It is the event of the year,Champagne will fill our glassesAs we join in a mighty cheer.
(To the HORSE)When our Boys are appearingNo bucking! No rearing!But join in a mighty cheer.
Oh, the picnic at ManassasIt's the event of the year.
(The SENATOR hands the LADIES down from the carriage)
Oh, isn't it bliss? We will have all thisAnd cucumber sandwiches, too.
(To the SENATOR, as HE hands her down)Yes, thanks a lot. What a heavenly spot!What a beautiful picnic view!
(ERMYNTRUDE and the SENATOR are busy opening baskets, arranging the picnic as the DOWAGER marches around delightedly.
ERMYNTRUDE looks off to the side. SHE is frightened)
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I see some running men!Oh, say, what can it be?
DOWAGERStrategic retreat, dear!Do have a pickled beet, dear.You must have something to eat, dear.And pass the pastry to me!
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I see some running men!Oh, my, how wild they seem!
DOWAGERIt's the enemy in flight, dear.After all, that's only right, dearOh, ain't it a glorious sight, dear?Senator, lemon or cream?
ERMYNTRUDEOh, Mother, I saw a man fall down!His life how can we save?
DOWAGERIt's a rebel who's hurt, dear.He's had his just dessert, dear.Is that blood on his shirt, dear?That will teach him to behave.
SENATOROh, Madam, I fear we're in danger hereOur boys are defeated, they say.Why don't we go home right away?
ERMYNTRUDE and SENATORWhy don't we go home right away?
(SOLDIERS and CIVILIAN SPECTATORS tear wildly across the stage, fleeing. They bump into the DOWAGER, knocking her about as THEY pass. THEY step on the luncheon things. The SENATOR and ERMYNTRUDE join them and run off. The horse, Dobbin, which has been rearing and bucking, rushes off after the last of them)
DOWAGERHow cowardly! How caddish!Have some celery!Have a radish!Senator, you're no gentleman!Ermyntrude, wait!Dobbin, whoa!Dobbin, whoa!The picnic at Manassas,I'm demanding my money back!We have let the foe surpass us,And just look at my seal-skin sacque!
And my lovely new bonnet,Someone stepped right on it,And look at my seal-skin sacque!Oh, the picnic at Manassas!I'm demanding my money back!
Now it's starting to rain and I shall complain!I'm furious, thwarted, and foiled!They have lost Bull Run, and they've ruined my funAnd my beautiful picnic's spoiled.
(SHE throws her battered bonnet to the ground and stomps off)
DIALOGUE 4.
MR. INTERLOCUTORYes, the Battle of Bull Run was quite a disappointment to the audience. Of course, some people claim if there hadn't been any audience the battle might have ended differently.
General MacDowell says they got in the way of his attacking the Rebels, and General Beauregard says if they hadn't been there his boys might have captured Yankee soldiers instead of 3 Senators, 6 Congressmen and Miss --- ---(Use the real name of THE COMEDIENNE)
FARMER McLEAN(Enters pushing a cart with his belongings)Howdy, Mr. Interlocutor.
MR. INTERLOCUTORHowdy, Farmer McLean. Where are you going all packed up so?
FARMER McLEANI just had a terrible time. Them Yankees came down and were shooting guns all over my farm and us Southerners had to chase them out and the place is a mess!
MR. INTERLOCUTORDidn't you know you were in the center of a tremendous battle?
FARMER McLEANThat's what it seemed like to me and I don't intend to be in any other. So I just traded my farm for one on the other side of the state away from all this ruckus, and I'm rnovin' there today.
MR. INTERLOCUTORGood luck, Farmer McLean.
(FARMER McLEAN moves off)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Calling after him before HE gets off)Where's your new place at, Farmer McLean?
FARMER McLEANNice place with rich land. Town called Appomattox.(HE goes off)
MR INTERLOCUTORNever heard of it.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL has entered)
SOUTHERN GIRLMr. Interlocutor, were you at the battle? Did you see Johnny? ... I'm getting so anxious.
MR. INTERLOCUTORHe was at the battle but he went off with the troops. And he's all right, so don't you worry.(HE starts off)
SOUTHERN GIRLIt's just that I never thought it'd be so long …
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR waves goodbye and disappears into the wings)
I only wish I knew ... where he was...
General MacDowell says they got in the way of his attacking the Rebels, and General Beauregard says if they hadn't been there his boys might have captured Yankee soldiers instead of 3 Senators, 6 Congressmen and Miss --- ---(Use the real name of THE COMEDIENNE)
FARMER McLEAN(Enters pushing a cart with his belongings)Howdy, Mr. Interlocutor.
MR. INTERLOCUTORHowdy, Farmer McLean. Where are you going all packed up so?
FARMER McLEANI just had a terrible time. Them Yankees came down and were shooting guns all over my farm and us Southerners had to chase them out and the place is a mess!
MR. INTERLOCUTORDidn't you know you were in the center of a tremendous battle?
FARMER McLEANThat's what it seemed like to me and I don't intend to be in any other. So I just traded my farm for one on the other side of the state away from all this ruckus, and I'm rnovin' there today.
MR. INTERLOCUTORGood luck, Farmer McLean.
(FARMER McLEAN moves off)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Calling after him before HE gets off)Where's your new place at, Farmer McLean?
FARMER McLEANNice place with rich land. Town called Appomattox.(HE goes off)
MR INTERLOCUTORNever heard of it.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL has entered)
SOUTHERN GIRLMr. Interlocutor, were you at the battle? Did you see Johnny? ... I'm getting so anxious.
MR. INTERLOCUTORHe was at the battle but he went off with the troops. And he's all right, so don't you worry.(HE starts off)
SOUTHERN GIRLIt's just that I never thought it'd be so long …
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR waves goodbye and disappears into the wings)
I only wish I knew ... where he was...
8. MOCKINGBIRD
SOUTHERN GIRLI'm dreaming now of JohnnyHe is handsome and winsome and bonnyAnd I'm waiting here for news of him.
MockingbirdSinging sweetly upon the sycamore limb,Have you heard any word?Have you news to bring me from him?
Oh, do not mock my sorrow.If -there's no news today, then tomorrowEven if you bring bad news of him!
MockingbirdDon't keep singing upon the sycamore limb.Fly up high to the skyAnd look down for some news of him!
I'm dreaming now of Johnny.He is handsome and winsome and bonnyAnd I'm waiting here for news of him!
(SHE goes off)
MockingbirdSinging sweetly upon the sycamore limb,Have you heard any word?Have you news to bring me from him?
Oh, do not mock my sorrow.If -there's no news today, then tomorrowEven if you bring bad news of him!
MockingbirdDon't keep singing upon the sycamore limb.Fly up high to the skyAnd look down for some news of him!
I'm dreaming now of Johnny.He is handsome and winsome and bonnyAnd I'm waiting here for news of him!
(SHE goes off)
9. SHILOH
The BOYS IN GREY are seated in a semicircle. The grouping suggests both a group around a campfire, and the minstrel circle. Our own familiar JOHNNY REB is standing in the middle.
Were you there at Shiloh,Bloody Shiloh?Will you remember ShilohUntil the day you die?
The flowers of the forest were fallen and trampledIn the first taste of war that some of them sampled.
And somewhere the girls that they left behind themAre speaking their names, but their names won't find them.
We were there at Shiloh,Bloody Shiloh,We will remember ShilohUntil the day we die.
And somewhere our own girls are waiting for usBut we must avenge the flowers of the forest.
And we won't come home while their ghosts walk near usAnd we say to their ghosts, if their ghosts can hear us
We'll still keep fighting every weary mile, ohAnd still keep faith with the dead of Shiloh.
I was there at ShilohBloody Shiloh,I will remember ShilohUntil the day I die.
Were you there at Shiloh,Bloody Shiloh?Will you remember ShilohUntil the day you die?
The flowers of the forest were fallen and trampledIn the first taste of war that some of them sampled.
And somewhere the girls that they left behind themAre speaking their names, but their names won't find them.
We were there at Shiloh,Bloody Shiloh,We will remember ShilohUntil the day we die.
And somewhere our own girls are waiting for usBut we must avenge the flowers of the forest.
And we won't come home while their ghosts walk near usAnd we say to their ghosts, if their ghosts can hear us
We'll still keep fighting every weary mile, ohAnd still keep faith with the dead of Shiloh.
I was there at ShilohBloody Shiloh,I will remember ShilohUntil the day I die.
DIALOGUE 5.
MR. TAMBO and MR. BONES back in from opposite sides of the stage. THEY bump into each other at center and run off frightenedly. THEY stop at the sides and peer at one another.
BONESWhy, it's Mr. Tambo!
TAMBOWhy, it's Mr. Bones! What are you all doing in this neck of the woods?
BONESI'm a working man now, Mr. Tambo. I is in the employ of Mr. Allen J Pinkerton.
TAMBOYou don't say ... That's very grand ... Who is Mr. Allen J. Pinkerton?
BONESMr. Allen J. Pinkerton is no less than the chief spy-catcher of the U.S. Government, and he's spy-catchin' around here somewhere right now!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR sleuths on past them. THEY fall in behind him)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Mysteriously)Hist! Is someone following me?
BONES(Loudly)Yassah! We all's followin' you.
TAMBOWhat for you creepin' slow and stealthy, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORHush! I am now Allen J. Pinkerton and there's trouble brewing! One mile from this spot, not half an hour ago, a veiled lady was seen lurking in a suspicious manner. It is believed she is none other than Miss Isabella Boyd!
BONESMiss Isabella Boyd!
TAMBOWho-all dat, Mr. Interpinkerton?
MR. INTERLOCUTORA female fiend in human form, the arch-spy of the Confederacy! Pray God I unmask her before it is too late! Hush! I hear footsteps .. Leave me!
(TAMBO and BONES tiptoe off. The curtains part and MR INTERLOCUTOR hides in the scenery)
BONESWhy, it's Mr. Tambo!
TAMBOWhy, it's Mr. Bones! What are you all doing in this neck of the woods?
BONESI'm a working man now, Mr. Tambo. I is in the employ of Mr. Allen J Pinkerton.
TAMBOYou don't say ... That's very grand ... Who is Mr. Allen J. Pinkerton?
BONESMr. Allen J. Pinkerton is no less than the chief spy-catcher of the U.S. Government, and he's spy-catchin' around here somewhere right now!
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR sleuths on past them. THEY fall in behind him)
MR. INTERLOCUTOR(Mysteriously)Hist! Is someone following me?
BONES(Loudly)Yassah! We all's followin' you.
TAMBOWhat for you creepin' slow and stealthy, Mr. Interlocutor?
MR. INTERLOCUTORHush! I am now Allen J. Pinkerton and there's trouble brewing! One mile from this spot, not half an hour ago, a veiled lady was seen lurking in a suspicious manner. It is believed she is none other than Miss Isabella Boyd!
BONESMiss Isabella Boyd!
TAMBOWho-all dat, Mr. Interpinkerton?
MR. INTERLOCUTORA female fiend in human form, the arch-spy of the Confederacy! Pray God I unmask her before it is too late! Hush! I hear footsteps .. Leave me!
(TAMBO and BONES tiptoe off. The curtains part and MR INTERLOCUTOR hides in the scenery)
10. THE BALLAD OF BELLE BOYD
A landscape with trees. Downstage left, an Inn with an exposed wall and a YANKEE GENERAL (played by the CHARACTER ACTOR) seated at a desk.
THREE GIRLS rush on excitedly.
SOUTHERN GIRLSBelle Boyd is back in townBelle Boyd is back in townOh goodness, meWhat's gonna happen next!
Belle Boyd is back in townBelle Boyd is back in townShe's back in townAnd nobody suspects!
Belle Boyd is busily employedIn spying for the rebelsBut the Pinkerton men will be after her againAs sure as God made little pebbles.
Belle Boyd, you'd best bewareA Pinkerton is here -- stay clear of him.Belle Boyd you'd best take careHe'll hang you from a sour apple limb.
But Belle Boyd cannot be annoyedWith the Pinkerton man and his capersFor she's on the trail and she's wearing her veilAnd she's got the important papers.
Belle Boyd is coming now.Oh, my, I just adore Belle Boyd, don't you?Belle Boyd is coming nowShe's coming now and guess what she will do!
(THEY run off. BELLE BOYD, played by the COMEDIENNE, glides through the blasted heath. SHE is very 'mysterioso' and thrilled by it all)
BELLE BOYDI spy! I spy!I find it's easy as pieThough I'm svelte and I'm slim and I never look mussed,I've a whole filing system within my false bust.
I spy! I spy!I just couldn't stop if I tryBut now that you ask me I can't think whyI guess I just love to spy.
(Two furtive CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS appear. SHE collars them. THEY quake. SHE sees who THEY are and releases them)
SOLDIERSIt's the witching hour by the old watch towerWe've come most faithfully on your hour.
BELLE BOYDStonewall Jackson is waiting, you knowHe hasn't heard from me since Tuesday or so.
(SHE produces yards of paper from her bosom)
Carry this to him.
SOLDIERSThrough all that snow?
BELLE BOYDCarry this to him.
SOLDIERSIt's raining, you know.
BELLE BOYDHe hasn't heard from me since Tuesday or soOh, carry this to him through rain and snow.
SOLDIERSOh, no, no. You goThrough all this rainAnd through all that snow.
BELLE BOYDWhat did you say?
SOLDIERSOh, no, no. You go!
BELLE BOYDOh, good. I hoped you would say that
I'll carry this to himThrough rain and snow.
(SHE stuffs the reams of paper back into her bosom. THE SOLDIERS go off, too.The PINKERTON MAN has been onstage through all this -- behind one of the trees. HE slinks forward as SHE slinks off)
PINKERTON MANI'm a Pinkerton man, and I do what I canApprehending all skullduggeryThrough the night I prowlLike a sapient owlAnd I look for hugger-muggery.
I am clever and wise and I've got sharp eyesAnd my neck is long and rubbery.When I've disappeared under my false beardYou can't tell me from the shrubbery.
I will follow the spy with a gleam in my eye.And I'll foil her plan like a Pinkerton Man.
(HE sleuths off.PANTOMIME:The PINKERTON MAN chases BELLE BOYD through rain and snow.The THREE GIRLS reappear and run along with BELLE BOYD as THEY sing)
SOUTHERN GIRLSBelle Boyd, Where have you been?Some Yankee generals are quartered at the innA secret meeting's going to begin.Belle Boyd, we love you soThere's something you should knowTheir room has an empty room above it.
(The PINKERTON MAN is so interested HE has his head practically at their mouths. THEY refuse to notice him and when HE has heard all HE wants to HE tiptoes off)
BELLE BOYDI love that empty room above itI couldn't be gladderWhere's my saw,Where's my ladder?
(The lights come up on the Inn. BELLE BOYD places her ladder against it and climbs up onto the roof, and proceeds to gaily saw a hale through it.The PINKERTON MAN slinks into the room and while HE sings to the bearded GENERAL who is sitting at the desk, HE takes his hat, cloak and the false beard from his face and puts it on, finally pushing the astonished GENERAL out the door)
PINKERTON MANI am a Pinkerton 'tecAnd I am right on deck.I'm in this place on a dandy case.If you will be compliable
The trap I'll spring, the spy will swingAs high as a knot is tieable,
(BELLE BOYD has finished her sawing; SHE removes the section of the ceiling and lightly jumps down into the PINKERTON MAN's awaiting arms)
PINKERTON MANPardon? Ma'am, don't mind if I stare.I didn't notice you sitting up there!
(HE puts her down)
BELLE BOYDGeneral, I dropped in informallyI do not do this sort of thing normally.But I saw you through the transomLooking tall and dark and handsomeAnd I simply couldn't resistThe chance of having a private tryst.
PINKERTON MANSherry wine?
BELLE BOYDDon't mind if I do
PINKERTON MANAn Educator biscuit?
BELLE BOYDYou must have one, too.
PINKERTON MANMa'am, if I can make so free,Would you care to step into a dance with me?
BELLE BOYDWhy, certainly.
PINKERTON MANSwing your partner, do-si-do!
BELLE BOYDDo you reverse?
PINKERTON MANI never quite know.Kick up your heels and cut up capers.
BELLE BOYDBut how can you danceWith your hands full o' papers?
(SHE tries to take them, but HE slaps her hands. SHE pauses a moment, not knowing how to react and then decides to smile and forgive him)
When I saw you through the transomLooking tall and dark and handsomeThen I simply couldn't resistThe chance of having a private tryst.
(THEY start to dance and BELLE BOYD keeps trying to get the papers and stuff them in her bosom, but each time SHE is foiled by the PINKERTON MAN. Finally, HE flashes his badge, tears off his beard, (which is later retrieved by the GENERAL who puts it back on) tosses his hat off and seizes her wrist)
PINKERTON MANLook who I am? Surprise! Surprise!I'm only a general in disguise!I was a Pinkerton all the while!
BELLE BOYDReally, sir! How low and vile!
PINKERTON MANHurrah! Hurrah! The spy is caught!
BELLE BOYDI only did as a good spy ought!
PINKERTON MANGeneral, General, quickly come!
BELLE BOYDHuzzah! I spurn the Northern scum!
(The GENERAL, the TWO SOLDIERS (now in blue uniform jackets) and the THREE GIRLS rush on)
PINKERTON MANTake her under a sour-apple tree!Bring a rope that is stout as stout can be!Tie it tight round her lily-white neck!
BELLE BOYDI'm not scared of you one speck!PINKERTON MANJust in case that the rope breaks through,Bring a firing squad and shoot her, too!Either way, in the sod she'll lie!
BELLE BOYDVery well, I'm ready to die.I'm ready to die for Dixie
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLSShe's ready to die for Dixie.
PINKERTON MANAre the bullets ready?Is the noose tied good?
GENERALReally, sir, as if I could?
GENERAL AND SOLDIERSReally sir! As if we would!That's not the way we treatPure Southern Womanhood!
(ALL but BELLE and PINKERTON MAN kneel. The GENTLEMEN remove their hats)
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLSHail, Womanhood!The star that lights our murk!
Hail, Womanhood!God's noblest handiwork!
(As HE sings, the GENERAL snatches his papers from MR. PINKERTON and turns his back on him)
BELLE BOYDI am sorry.
GENERALThat I see.Do not worry,You are free.
BELLE BOYD and GENERALUnharmed, unsmirched and unsoiled!
PINKERTON MANCurses! I am foiled!
(HE slinks back)
BOYS and GENERALAnd now that this little adventure is through,Oh, what will become of you?Where will you go? What will you do?
BELLE BOYDI dunno .Yes, I do!I'll spy ... I'll spy …
ENSEMBLEShe'll spy.
(At the curtain, BELLE is stealing the papers from the enraptured General while the PINKERTON MAN comes forward and examines them through his magnifying glass. Curtain)
THREE GIRLS rush on excitedly.
SOUTHERN GIRLSBelle Boyd is back in townBelle Boyd is back in townOh goodness, meWhat's gonna happen next!
Belle Boyd is back in townBelle Boyd is back in townShe's back in townAnd nobody suspects!
Belle Boyd is busily employedIn spying for the rebelsBut the Pinkerton men will be after her againAs sure as God made little pebbles.
Belle Boyd, you'd best bewareA Pinkerton is here -- stay clear of him.Belle Boyd you'd best take careHe'll hang you from a sour apple limb.
But Belle Boyd cannot be annoyedWith the Pinkerton man and his capersFor she's on the trail and she's wearing her veilAnd she's got the important papers.
Belle Boyd is coming now.Oh, my, I just adore Belle Boyd, don't you?Belle Boyd is coming nowShe's coming now and guess what she will do!
(THEY run off. BELLE BOYD, played by the COMEDIENNE, glides through the blasted heath. SHE is very 'mysterioso' and thrilled by it all)
BELLE BOYDI spy! I spy!I find it's easy as pieThough I'm svelte and I'm slim and I never look mussed,I've a whole filing system within my false bust.
I spy! I spy!I just couldn't stop if I tryBut now that you ask me I can't think whyI guess I just love to spy.
(Two furtive CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS appear. SHE collars them. THEY quake. SHE sees who THEY are and releases them)
SOLDIERSIt's the witching hour by the old watch towerWe've come most faithfully on your hour.
BELLE BOYDStonewall Jackson is waiting, you knowHe hasn't heard from me since Tuesday or so.
(SHE produces yards of paper from her bosom)
Carry this to him.
SOLDIERSThrough all that snow?
BELLE BOYDCarry this to him.
SOLDIERSIt's raining, you know.
BELLE BOYDHe hasn't heard from me since Tuesday or soOh, carry this to him through rain and snow.
SOLDIERSOh, no, no. You goThrough all this rainAnd through all that snow.
BELLE BOYDWhat did you say?
SOLDIERSOh, no, no. You go!
BELLE BOYDOh, good. I hoped you would say that
I'll carry this to himThrough rain and snow.
(SHE stuffs the reams of paper back into her bosom. THE SOLDIERS go off, too.The PINKERTON MAN has been onstage through all this -- behind one of the trees. HE slinks forward as SHE slinks off)
PINKERTON MANI'm a Pinkerton man, and I do what I canApprehending all skullduggeryThrough the night I prowlLike a sapient owlAnd I look for hugger-muggery.
I am clever and wise and I've got sharp eyesAnd my neck is long and rubbery.When I've disappeared under my false beardYou can't tell me from the shrubbery.
I will follow the spy with a gleam in my eye.And I'll foil her plan like a Pinkerton Man.
(HE sleuths off.PANTOMIME:The PINKERTON MAN chases BELLE BOYD through rain and snow.The THREE GIRLS reappear and run along with BELLE BOYD as THEY sing)
SOUTHERN GIRLSBelle Boyd, Where have you been?Some Yankee generals are quartered at the innA secret meeting's going to begin.Belle Boyd, we love you soThere's something you should knowTheir room has an empty room above it.
(The PINKERTON MAN is so interested HE has his head practically at their mouths. THEY refuse to notice him and when HE has heard all HE wants to HE tiptoes off)
BELLE BOYDI love that empty room above itI couldn't be gladderWhere's my saw,Where's my ladder?
(The lights come up on the Inn. BELLE BOYD places her ladder against it and climbs up onto the roof, and proceeds to gaily saw a hale through it.The PINKERTON MAN slinks into the room and while HE sings to the bearded GENERAL who is sitting at the desk, HE takes his hat, cloak and the false beard from his face and puts it on, finally pushing the astonished GENERAL out the door)
PINKERTON MANI am a Pinkerton 'tecAnd I am right on deck.I'm in this place on a dandy case.If you will be compliable
The trap I'll spring, the spy will swingAs high as a knot is tieable,
(BELLE BOYD has finished her sawing; SHE removes the section of the ceiling and lightly jumps down into the PINKERTON MAN's awaiting arms)
PINKERTON MANPardon? Ma'am, don't mind if I stare.I didn't notice you sitting up there!
(HE puts her down)
BELLE BOYDGeneral, I dropped in informallyI do not do this sort of thing normally.But I saw you through the transomLooking tall and dark and handsomeAnd I simply couldn't resistThe chance of having a private tryst.
PINKERTON MANSherry wine?
BELLE BOYDDon't mind if I do
PINKERTON MANAn Educator biscuit?
BELLE BOYDYou must have one, too.
PINKERTON MANMa'am, if I can make so free,Would you care to step into a dance with me?
BELLE BOYDWhy, certainly.
PINKERTON MANSwing your partner, do-si-do!
BELLE BOYDDo you reverse?
PINKERTON MANI never quite know.Kick up your heels and cut up capers.
BELLE BOYDBut how can you danceWith your hands full o' papers?
(SHE tries to take them, but HE slaps her hands. SHE pauses a moment, not knowing how to react and then decides to smile and forgive him)
When I saw you through the transomLooking tall and dark and handsomeThen I simply couldn't resistThe chance of having a private tryst.
(THEY start to dance and BELLE BOYD keeps trying to get the papers and stuff them in her bosom, but each time SHE is foiled by the PINKERTON MAN. Finally, HE flashes his badge, tears off his beard, (which is later retrieved by the GENERAL who puts it back on) tosses his hat off and seizes her wrist)
PINKERTON MANLook who I am? Surprise! Surprise!I'm only a general in disguise!I was a Pinkerton all the while!
BELLE BOYDReally, sir! How low and vile!
PINKERTON MANHurrah! Hurrah! The spy is caught!
BELLE BOYDI only did as a good spy ought!
PINKERTON MANGeneral, General, quickly come!
BELLE BOYDHuzzah! I spurn the Northern scum!
(The GENERAL, the TWO SOLDIERS (now in blue uniform jackets) and the THREE GIRLS rush on)
PINKERTON MANTake her under a sour-apple tree!Bring a rope that is stout as stout can be!Tie it tight round her lily-white neck!
BELLE BOYDI'm not scared of you one speck!PINKERTON MANJust in case that the rope breaks through,Bring a firing squad and shoot her, too!Either way, in the sod she'll lie!
BELLE BOYDVery well, I'm ready to die.I'm ready to die for Dixie
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLSShe's ready to die for Dixie.
PINKERTON MANAre the bullets ready?Is the noose tied good?
GENERALReally, sir, as if I could?
GENERAL AND SOLDIERSReally sir! As if we would!That's not the way we treatPure Southern Womanhood!
(ALL but BELLE and PINKERTON MAN kneel. The GENTLEMEN remove their hats)
GENERAL, SOLDIERS AND GIRLSHail, Womanhood!The star that lights our murk!
Hail, Womanhood!God's noblest handiwork!
(As HE sings, the GENERAL snatches his papers from MR. PINKERTON and turns his back on him)
BELLE BOYDI am sorry.
GENERALThat I see.Do not worry,You are free.
BELLE BOYD and GENERALUnharmed, unsmirched and unsoiled!
PINKERTON MANCurses! I am foiled!
(HE slinks back)
BOYS and GENERALAnd now that this little adventure is through,Oh, what will become of you?Where will you go? What will you do?
BELLE BOYDI dunno .Yes, I do!I'll spy ... I'll spy …
ENSEMBLEShe'll spy.
(At the curtain, BELLE is stealing the papers from the enraptured General while the PINKERTON MAN comes forward and examines them through his magnifying glass. Curtain)
11. 'MANCIPATION
The lights come up in front of the curtain as TAMBO pushes on a platform with bales of cotton on it, and MR. BONES stretched out lazily on the bales.
MANDA, a slave woman, walks on carrying a cotton-picking basket. SHE is played by the CONTRALTO SOLOIST who played HARRIET TUBMAN in the earlier scene.
The following scene is played with giggling good-natured disbelief.
BONESGood morning, Manda, have you heard what's new?They're gonna 'mancipate me and you.
MANDAOh, Lord, whoever hear tell of such.When they 'mancipate me will it hurt very much?
TAMBOWhen you are 'mancipated, from what I heardYou'll be as free as a little old bird.
MANDAFrom what I seen and from where I sit,Though I may be free, I may not notice it.
Can I meet anybody, anyone I want to meet?Can I ride in a train, riding in the best front seat?Can I walk into town and go to a theater showAnd sit like a queen in the very, very, very front row?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedThey shout to beat the band.
I'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDABut will 'mancipation bring the Promised Land?Oh, Mister Bones would you please look at me.I'm 'mancipated now as I can be.
BONESOh, Lordy, Manda, but you look so newI would never have guessed it was really you.
MANDAOh, Mister Tambo ain't it gloriousWhat 'mancipation's gonna mean for us
TAMBOOh, Manda you jes' ain't seen nothin'Till you see how 'mancipated we kin get.
MANDACan I eat in a cafe any time I choose?Can I sit at a table, a table that the white folks use?Can I go to a college so that I will know howTo cast me the vote that I cannot cast right now?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedOr so I understand.
I'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDABut will 'mancipation bring the Promised Land?
BONESCan I earn my own money? Can I own my own land?
TAMBOCan I find me a job any place I reach my hand?
MANDACan I build me a house on the right side of the trackSo I'll live like a person and not in any old shack?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDAI shout to beat the band.
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDA'mancipation's gonna bring the Promised Land.
(As MANDA goes off, BONES jumps back on the bales of cotton and TAMBO pushes the bales and BONES offstage.)
MANDA, a slave woman, walks on carrying a cotton-picking basket. SHE is played by the CONTRALTO SOLOIST who played HARRIET TUBMAN in the earlier scene.
The following scene is played with giggling good-natured disbelief.
BONESGood morning, Manda, have you heard what's new?They're gonna 'mancipate me and you.
MANDAOh, Lord, whoever hear tell of such.When they 'mancipate me will it hurt very much?
TAMBOWhen you are 'mancipated, from what I heardYou'll be as free as a little old bird.
MANDAFrom what I seen and from where I sit,Though I may be free, I may not notice it.
Can I meet anybody, anyone I want to meet?Can I ride in a train, riding in the best front seat?Can I walk into town and go to a theater showAnd sit like a queen in the very, very, very front row?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedThey shout to beat the band.
I'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDABut will 'mancipation bring the Promised Land?Oh, Mister Bones would you please look at me.I'm 'mancipated now as I can be.
BONESOh, Lordy, Manda, but you look so newI would never have guessed it was really you.
MANDAOh, Mister Tambo ain't it gloriousWhat 'mancipation's gonna mean for us
TAMBOOh, Manda you jes' ain't seen nothin'Till you see how 'mancipated we kin get.
MANDACan I eat in a cafe any time I choose?Can I sit at a table, a table that the white folks use?Can I go to a college so that I will know howTo cast me the vote that I cannot cast right now?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedOr so I understand.
I'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDABut will 'mancipation bring the Promised Land?
BONESCan I earn my own money? Can I own my own land?
TAMBOCan I find me a job any place I reach my hand?
MANDACan I build me a house on the right side of the trackSo I'll live like a person and not in any old shack?
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDAI shout to beat the band.
TAMBO and BONESI'm 'mancipatedI'm 'mancipated
MANDA'mancipation's gonna bring the Promised Land.
(As MANDA goes off, BONES jumps back on the bales of cotton and TAMBO pushes the bales and BONES offstage.)
12. THIS ISN'T A GENTLEMAN'S WAR
(A cannon shot is heard off-stage and MR. INTERLOCUTOR limps before the curtain in the uniform of a Southern General)
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhen I went off to war I was gallantAs a hero by Sir Walter Scott.Though I had no particular talentStill my blood was heroically hot!
I was reckless and ruthless and dashingAnd I smartly would dart in the fray.When my saber went flashing and dashingStill I treated the foe with fair play!
But I found from the very beginningThe way some chaps behave is a shameFor they seem to care more about winningThen they do about playing the game!
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
When they see that an enemy's tumbledThey don't help him back on his horse,But they shoot him right there where he stumbledWhich I think is both callous and coarse.
They don't fight as Lord Chesterfield might any moreAnd they don't try to keep it polite any more.
If that Sir Walter ScottCould be here on the spotHe would find many things to deplore!This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
Those machines they think up every minuteWell, I must say it's really too much.For how can a man put his heart in itWhen a war hasn't that human touch.
Now that Merrimac thing, it is vulgarAnd the Monitor fills me with rage.If they'd turned up like that at TrafalgarThey'd have both been hissed right off the stage.
And those boats that attack from down underI consider both lowly and mean.I was glad when that cad made a blunderAnd he blew up his own submarine!
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
Only Friday, while serving as sentryAnd addressing some lines to the moonI was shot in my tent's very entryBy a bounder up in a balloon!
There are things that go off with a band and a roarTill a human don't matter a hang any more.
I am sure that the ladsWho think up these doo-dadsSimply can't be out of the top drawer.This isn't a gentleman's war any more
(He does a soft shoe dance)
Now, one day I fell down in a skirmishWith my toes pointing up to the skyAnd a man I can only call wormishCame and pinched both my boots on the sly!
When I woke I was there in my stockingsAll exposed to the general view!But the thing that is even more shocking'sWhat I found even me stooping to!
For the next thing I know I was pinchingBoth the shoes off the corpse on my rightI can't think of it now without flinchingIt was horrid! What's more, they're too tight!
(He takes his shoes off and sighs with relief)
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
(He prances around the stage, shoeless, and dances off with a flourish)
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhen I went off to war I was gallantAs a hero by Sir Walter Scott.Though I had no particular talentStill my blood was heroically hot!
I was reckless and ruthless and dashingAnd I smartly would dart in the fray.When my saber went flashing and dashingStill I treated the foe with fair play!
But I found from the very beginningThe way some chaps behave is a shameFor they seem to care more about winningThen they do about playing the game!
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
When they see that an enemy's tumbledThey don't help him back on his horse,But they shoot him right there where he stumbledWhich I think is both callous and coarse.
They don't fight as Lord Chesterfield might any moreAnd they don't try to keep it polite any more.
If that Sir Walter ScottCould be here on the spotHe would find many things to deplore!This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
Those machines they think up every minuteWell, I must say it's really too much.For how can a man put his heart in itWhen a war hasn't that human touch.
Now that Merrimac thing, it is vulgarAnd the Monitor fills me with rage.If they'd turned up like that at TrafalgarThey'd have both been hissed right off the stage.
And those boats that attack from down underI consider both lowly and mean.I was glad when that cad made a blunderAnd he blew up his own submarine!
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
Only Friday, while serving as sentryAnd addressing some lines to the moonI was shot in my tent's very entryBy a bounder up in a balloon!
There are things that go off with a band and a roarTill a human don't matter a hang any more.
I am sure that the ladsWho think up these doo-dadsSimply can't be out of the top drawer.This isn't a gentleman's war any more
(He does a soft shoe dance)
Now, one day I fell down in a skirmishWith my toes pointing up to the skyAnd a man I can only call wormishCame and pinched both my boots on the sly!
When I woke I was there in my stockingsAll exposed to the general view!But the thing that is even more shocking'sWhat I found even me stooping to!
For the next thing I know I was pinchingBoth the shoes off the corpse on my rightI can't think of it now without flinchingIt was horrid! What's more, they're too tight!
(He takes his shoes off and sighs with relief)
This isn't a gentleman's war any more,This isn't a gentleman's war any more.
(He prances around the stage, shoeless, and dances off with a flourish)
13. THE CONTRABAND BALL
(The performers come cake-walking on in couples. The COMEDIENNE on the arm of the CHARACTER ACTOR, the SOUTHERN GIRL with BILLY YANK, TAMBO and BONES with two pretty BLACK GIRLS for their partners, and the rest of the SINGERS, Black and White, two by two.At the end of the dance THEY are all in position in the Minstrel Circle -- with the COMEDIENNE in the central position -- and THEY all sit except for the COMEDIENNE who comes forward as SHE starts to sing)
Oh, General Ben Butler is a beast in human guise.He captured our New Orl'ans and he took us by surprise!
And now we're in his power he's commanded one and allTo come and dance this evenin' at a Contraband Ball.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL and the WHITE FEMALE CHORUS rise and come forward)SOUTHERN GIRLWith those low-down Yankee soldiers
GIRLSWith those low-down Yankee soldiers
COMEDIENNEWith those low-down Yankee soldiersAnd that's not all!In the same room with the colored folks!
SOUTHERN GIRL and the GIRLSThe same room with the colored folks!
COMEDIENNEThe same room with the colored folks!That's all! That's all!
(The COMEDIENNE and her contingent return to their seats as TAMBO and BONES rise and come forward)
BONESOh, we went a-struttin' down the Vieux CarreTill we met some pretty girls and what did I say?
TAMBOGot a tickle in my feet I hear that banjo callLet us dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(Two BLACK GIRLS rise and come forward and THEY re-enact the meeting)
GIRLSSaid the pretty girl don't mind if I do.Got to dance with somebody so why not you?"
TAMBO, BONES and GIRLSSo let's walk around down to Liberty HallAnd we'll dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(The OTHER BLACKS rise and walk around with them. The BLACKS turn and see the WHITES staring at them. THEY all turn back)
BLACKSSee them white folks sittin' thereAin't they fine and don't they stare?
Won't them white folks make a fussDancin' in a room with us?
BONESI don't mind what white folks doI want to dance
TAMBOI want to, too!
But when I see them white folks frownI'll go way back and sit me down.
TAMBO, BONES and BLACK CHORUSLet's go way back and sit downLet's go way back and sit down.
(As the BLACKS sit, BILLY YANK and the SOLDIERS rise and speak to the WHITE GIRLS)
BILLY YANKOh, General Ben Butler issued orders to us allTo come and be your escorts at the Contraband Ball
COMEDIENNEWell, you can tell your General in the present circumstanceWe may be forced to sit here but we won't, we won't dance!
For if colored folk come bustin'It's disgustin'
GIRLSIt's disgustin'
COMEDIENNEI'm not one for readjustin'My ideas at all
GIRLSWhite and black associatin'It's an idea straight from Satan
COMEDIENNE and GIRLSThat's all!
SOLDIERSIt is most exasperatin'To be left here standin' waitin'
BILLY YANKBut they're not capitulatin'To this Ball, at all!
SOLDIERSStill the way our order's writtenIt distinctly says "No quittin"
BILLY YANKSo we'll do our waitin' sittin'At this Ball
SOLDIERSThat's all!
(The SOLDIERS and BILLY YANK return to the circle. EVERYBODY is seated as the music plays. THEY all want to dance but try to control themselves from jumping onto the dance-floor. ONE or TWO do rush forward and start to dance but OTHERS rush up and pull them back to their seats)
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters and observes the strange behaviour)
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhat's gone wrong, for goodness' sake?Is this a party or a wake?What's the use of having a BallIf nobody will dance at all?
COMEDIENNEWe don't like your Ball a bit!Since we must, we've come to it,But white and colored do not fit!
WHITE GIRLSWe won't dance. We'll sit!
COMEDIENNEWe'll sit!
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERSWe've not made a social hit!
TAMBO, BONES and BLACKSWe got scared and we done quit So we sit!
COMEDIENNE and GIRLSAnd we just sit.
MR. INTERLOCUTORI'm not mad at anyone!I aim to have a bit of fun!Let's forget our colorAnd our quarrel for a bit.
When you hear that music playingHow can you just sit?
(HE dances around the stage as HE sings)
Oh, Miss WalkaroundCome walkin' round with meThe fiddles are in rhythmSo get with 'emOne, two, three!
Since you must be hereWhy simply sit an' frownWhy not walk aroundAnd around!
(The COMEDIENNE talks to the CHARACTER ACTOR as MR. INTERLOCUTOR CAKEWALKS ABOUT THE STAGE)
COMEDIENNEWhat a charmin' way of speakin'Oh, I must admit I weaken.It may be treason but I don't careI'm gonna dance! C'est la guerre! So there!
(The CHARACTER ACTOR has been trying to stop her from dancing but SHE eludes him and rushes up to join MR. INTERLOCUTOR. As BONES starts to sing the CHARACTER ACTOR ostentatiously walks out past the COMEDIENNE, who is cakewalking about with MR. INTERLOCUTOR. HE exudes disapproval as HE walks off-stage)
BONESSee them walk aroundIf they can., so can we
BILLY YANK(To the SOUTHERN GIRL)Miss if you are freePlease walk around with me
SOUTHERN GIRLBilly, take my handI can't stay sittin' down
TAMBOLet's all walk aroundAnd round and round and round.
(TAMBO and BONES have brought forward the TWO BLACK GIRLS they danced with previously and now THEY form an octet in front with MR. INTERLOCUTOR and the COMEDIENNE, and the SOUTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK)
OCTETOh, Miss (Mister) WalkaroundCome walkin' round tonightThe fiddles will be singin'While we're swingin'Left an' right.
Got my (your) best suitAnd you're (I'm) in your (my) low-cut gownSo let's walk around and around.
(The CHORUS PEOPLE are now impelled to join in)
BLACK MENThough to dance may take some grit,We cant just sit! We can't just sit!
BLACK WOMENWait a bit, boys, wait a bit!We got to git right into it!
SOLDIERSNow that you are used to itWon't you submit and dance a bit?
GIRLSThough we all are in a snitWe'd like to dance we must admit.
(The ENTIRE COMPANY dance and sing)
ENSEMBLEOh, Miss WalkaroundStart swingin' wide your hoops.The sweetheart of the regimentThe darling of the troops
Show New Orl'ans we can really cover groundWhen we walk around and around.
Dancin' in the moonlightSleepin' in the sunGonna walk aroundUntil tonight is down!
Steamboat up the river,Rowboat up the creek.Still be walkin' roundTill this time next week.
Mister WalkaroundCome walkin' if you will.We'll set the room a-swingin',Buck-and-wingin' fit to kill.
Nothing's ever gonna kill this grand old townIt'll still walk round and a-round.
Walk around!
CURTAIN
(End of Act I)
Oh, General Ben Butler is a beast in human guise.He captured our New Orl'ans and he took us by surprise!
And now we're in his power he's commanded one and allTo come and dance this evenin' at a Contraband Ball.
(The SOUTHERN GIRL and the WHITE FEMALE CHORUS rise and come forward)SOUTHERN GIRLWith those low-down Yankee soldiers
GIRLSWith those low-down Yankee soldiers
COMEDIENNEWith those low-down Yankee soldiersAnd that's not all!In the same room with the colored folks!
SOUTHERN GIRL and the GIRLSThe same room with the colored folks!
COMEDIENNEThe same room with the colored folks!That's all! That's all!
(The COMEDIENNE and her contingent return to their seats as TAMBO and BONES rise and come forward)
BONESOh, we went a-struttin' down the Vieux CarreTill we met some pretty girls and what did I say?
TAMBOGot a tickle in my feet I hear that banjo callLet us dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(Two BLACK GIRLS rise and come forward and THEY re-enact the meeting)
GIRLSSaid the pretty girl don't mind if I do.Got to dance with somebody so why not you?"
TAMBO, BONES and GIRLSSo let's walk around down to Liberty HallAnd we'll dance all night at the Contraband Ball.
(The OTHER BLACKS rise and walk around with them. The BLACKS turn and see the WHITES staring at them. THEY all turn back)
BLACKSSee them white folks sittin' thereAin't they fine and don't they stare?
Won't them white folks make a fussDancin' in a room with us?
BONESI don't mind what white folks doI want to dance
TAMBOI want to, too!
But when I see them white folks frownI'll go way back and sit me down.
TAMBO, BONES and BLACK CHORUSLet's go way back and sit downLet's go way back and sit down.
(As the BLACKS sit, BILLY YANK and the SOLDIERS rise and speak to the WHITE GIRLS)
BILLY YANKOh, General Ben Butler issued orders to us allTo come and be your escorts at the Contraband Ball
COMEDIENNEWell, you can tell your General in the present circumstanceWe may be forced to sit here but we won't, we won't dance!
For if colored folk come bustin'It's disgustin'
GIRLSIt's disgustin'
COMEDIENNEI'm not one for readjustin'My ideas at all
GIRLSWhite and black associatin'It's an idea straight from Satan
COMEDIENNE and GIRLSThat's all!
SOLDIERSIt is most exasperatin'To be left here standin' waitin'
BILLY YANKBut they're not capitulatin'To this Ball, at all!
SOLDIERSStill the way our order's writtenIt distinctly says "No quittin"
BILLY YANKSo we'll do our waitin' sittin'At this Ball
SOLDIERSThat's all!
(The SOLDIERS and BILLY YANK return to the circle. EVERYBODY is seated as the music plays. THEY all want to dance but try to control themselves from jumping onto the dance-floor. ONE or TWO do rush forward and start to dance but OTHERS rush up and pull them back to their seats)
(MR. INTERLOCUTOR enters and observes the strange behaviour)
MR. INTERLOCUTORWhat's gone wrong, for goodness' sake?Is this a party or a wake?What's the use of having a BallIf nobody will dance at all?
COMEDIENNEWe don't like your Ball a bit!Since we must, we've come to it,But white and colored do not fit!
WHITE GIRLSWe won't dance. We'll sit!
COMEDIENNEWe'll sit!
BILLY YANK and SOLDIERSWe've not made a social hit!
TAMBO, BONES and BLACKSWe got scared and we done quit So we sit!
COMEDIENNE and GIRLSAnd we just sit.
MR. INTERLOCUTORI'm not mad at anyone!I aim to have a bit of fun!Let's forget our colorAnd our quarrel for a bit.
When you hear that music playingHow can you just sit?
(HE dances around the stage as HE sings)
Oh, Miss WalkaroundCome walkin' round with meThe fiddles are in rhythmSo get with 'emOne, two, three!
Since you must be hereWhy simply sit an' frownWhy not walk aroundAnd around!
(The COMEDIENNE talks to the CHARACTER ACTOR as MR. INTERLOCUTOR CAKEWALKS ABOUT THE STAGE)
COMEDIENNEWhat a charmin' way of speakin'Oh, I must admit I weaken.It may be treason but I don't careI'm gonna dance! C'est la guerre! So there!
(The CHARACTER ACTOR has been trying to stop her from dancing but SHE eludes him and rushes up to join MR. INTERLOCUTOR. As BONES starts to sing the CHARACTER ACTOR ostentatiously walks out past the COMEDIENNE, who is cakewalking about with MR. INTERLOCUTOR. HE exudes disapproval as HE walks off-stage)
BONESSee them walk aroundIf they can., so can we
BILLY YANK(To the SOUTHERN GIRL)Miss if you are freePlease walk around with me
SOUTHERN GIRLBilly, take my handI can't stay sittin' down
TAMBOLet's all walk aroundAnd round and round and round.
(TAMBO and BONES have brought forward the TWO BLACK GIRLS they danced with previously and now THEY form an octet in front with MR. INTERLOCUTOR and the COMEDIENNE, and the SOUTHERN GIRL and BILLY YANK)
OCTETOh, Miss (Mister) WalkaroundCome walkin' round tonightThe fiddles will be singin'While we're swingin'Left an' right.
Got my (your) best suitAnd you're (I'm) in your (my) low-cut gownSo let's walk around and around.
(The CHORUS PEOPLE are now impelled to join in)
BLACK MENThough to dance may take some grit,We cant just sit! We can't just sit!
BLACK WOMENWait a bit, boys, wait a bit!We got to git right into it!
SOLDIERSNow that you are used to itWon't you submit and dance a bit?
GIRLSThough we all are in a snitWe'd like to dance we must admit.
(The ENTIRE COMPANY dance and sing)
ENSEMBLEOh, Miss WalkaroundStart swingin' wide your hoops.The sweetheart of the regimentThe darling of the troops
Show New Orl'ans we can really cover groundWhen we walk around and around.
Dancin' in the moonlightSleepin' in the sunGonna walk aroundUntil tonight is down!
Steamboat up the river,Rowboat up the creek.Still be walkin' roundTill this time next week.
Mister WalkaroundCome walkin' if you will.We'll set the room a-swingin',Buck-and-wingin' fit to kill.
Nothing's ever gonna kill this grand old townIt'll still walk round and a-round.
Walk around!
CURTAIN
(End of Act I)
ACT II
14. GENTLEMEN, BE SEATED
The curtain rises quickly revealing the Minstrel Circle which is now occupied only by MR. INTERLOCUTOR and TAMBO and BONES at the ends. The rest of the cast is furiously involved in a battle which tears back and forth across the stage. In its movements, the battle resembles an acrobatic tumbling act. Soldiers are doing cartwheels across the stage; the gun butts are used for supports for vaulting. The nurses who dash furiously around the battlefield, find themselves, every now and then, being swung in the air by fleeing or fighting soldiers. Through all this, Mr. INTERLOCUTOR gallantly keeps singing his song about a Peace Conference and every now and then is interrupted by the battle which catches him up and flings him about. After each battering he returns to his song while TAMBO and BONES watch silently.
MR. INTERLOCUTORGentlemen, be seated;Ladies, be still!Ain't you sick o' fihtin'?Ain't you had your fill?
Quarrels may be catching,Wear a smile not a frown.Ladies, please, no scratching!Gentlemen, DOWN!
Murder still is homicideEven when it's self defense.Cast your nasty bombs asideAnd let's have a peace conference.
We needn't get in ragesIf perhaps we disagree.This ain't the Middle ages,This is eighteen sixty three!
Gentlemen be seated!Ladies, less noise!Where's your self control at?Ain't you got no poise.
We've had enough of gore,now it's time to look ahead.And stop this whole darn warbefore we're more or less all dead!
Gentlemen be quietWhat's all the shouting for?Gentlemen, be civil.Ain't this a Civil War?
MR. INTERLOCUTORGentlemen, be seated;Ladies, be still!Ain't you sick o' fihtin'?Ain't you had your fill?
Quarrels may be catching,Wear a smile not a frown.Ladies, please, no scratching!Gentlemen, DOWN!
Murder still is homicideEven when it's self defense.Cast your nasty bombs asideAnd let's have a peace conference.
We needn't get in ragesIf perhaps we disagree.This ain't the Middle ages,This is eighteen sixty three!
Gentlemen be seated!Ladies, less noise!Where's your self control at?Ain't you got no poise.
We've had enough of gore,now it's time to look ahead.And stop this whole darn warbefore we're more or less all dead!
Gentlemen be quietWhat's all the shouting for?Gentlemen, be civil.Ain't this a Civil War?
DIALOGUE 6.
TAMBO, BONES and BANJO are downstage. The scrim behind them is a scene on the banks of the Potomac with Washington D.C. in the background across the River. TAMBO and BONES both have on Union Army jackets.
TAMBOMr. Bones, this is the funniest thing I ever did see.
BONESWhat's funny, Mr. Tambo? You is gonna be a soldier and that ain't funny.
TAMBOI think it is. Here they go draftin' all us colored persons to join a white army that's been sittin' around Washington without moving for nearly a year.
BONESMr. Tambo, you are being honored. You are being allowed to fight in defense of your country.
TAMBOWell I'm joined, but I is half-hearted. Like did you ever see two dogs fightin' over a bone?
BONESCertainly, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBODid you ever see the bone get up and fight? Well, in this hyar contention I is de bone. An' I is reluctant to take sides.
BONESDon't worry, Mr. Tambo, it's a soft life. No battles. No victories. Jes' soldierin'
Top15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC
TAMBOOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.If a pin would drop round hereFolks'd scream and hold their earsIt's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
BONESOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonightThere's no riot on the Potomac tonight.See that turtle strollin' past.'pared to us, man, that boy's fast.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOMister Lincoln's armyIs tough and rough and readyOur guns go bang, our bullets whizz,Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fightIf a fight they would provide usBut we haven't got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONESFuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with forceNow he can't get on a horseSo it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOOh, McClellan's head was full of schemes and visions.But McClellan couldn't seem to make decisions.When we might have licked the foesPoor McClellan got the slows!So it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONESOld Brains Halleck thought too much.John Pope was rash and headstrong.And Burnside lacked the leader's touch.Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonightWe don't fight because we can'tWhere the Hell is U.S. Grant!It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for "It's so quiet," etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
TAMBOMr. Bones, this is the funniest thing I ever did see.
BONESWhat's funny, Mr. Tambo? You is gonna be a soldier and that ain't funny.
TAMBOI think it is. Here they go draftin' all us colored persons to join a white army that's been sittin' around Washington without moving for nearly a year.
BONESMr. Tambo, you are being honored. You are being allowed to fight in defense of your country.
TAMBOWell I'm joined, but I is half-hearted. Like did you ever see two dogs fightin' over a bone?
BONESCertainly, Mr. Tambo.
TAMBODid you ever see the bone get up and fight? Well, in this hyar contention I is de bone. An' I is reluctant to take sides.
BONESDon't worry, Mr. Tambo, it's a soft life. No battles. No victories. Jes' soldierin'
Top15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC
TAMBOOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.If a pin would drop round hereFolks'd scream and hold their earsIt's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
BONESOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonightThere's no riot on the Potomac tonight.See that turtle strollin' past.'pared to us, man, that boy's fast.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOMister Lincoln's armyIs tough and rough and readyOur guns go bang, our bullets whizz,Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fightIf a fight they would provide usBut we haven't got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONESFuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with forceNow he can't get on a horseSo it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOOh, McClellan's head was full of schemes and visions.But McClellan couldn't seem to make decisions.When we might have licked the foesPoor McClellan got the slows!So it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONESOld Brains Halleck thought too much.John Pope was rash and headstrong.And Burnside lacked the leader's touch.Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonightWe don't fight because we can'tWhere the Hell is U.S. Grant!It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for "It's so quiet," etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
15. ALL QUIET ON THE POTOMAC
TAMBOOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.If a pin would drop round hereFolks'd scream and hold their earsIt's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
BONESOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonightThere's no riot on the Potomac tonight.See that turtle strollin' past.'pared to us, man, that boy's fast.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOMister Lincoln's armyIs tough and rough and readyOur guns go bang, our bullets whizz,Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fightIf a fight they would provide usBut we haven't got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONESFuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with forceNow he can't get on a horseSo it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOOh, McClellan's head was full of schemes and visions.But McClellan couldn't seem to make decisions.When we might have licked the foesPoor McClellan got the slows!So it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONESOld Brains Halleck thought too much.John Pope was rash and headstrong.And Burnside lacked the leader's touch.Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonightWe don't fight because we can'tWhere the Hell is U.S. Grant!It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for "It's so quiet," etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
BONESOh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonightThere's no riot on the Potomac tonight.See that turtle strollin' past.'pared to us, man, that boy's fast.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOMister Lincoln's armyIs tough and rough and readyOur guns go bang, our bullets whizz,Our hands are strong and steady
Our blood is up, we want to fightIf a fight they would provide usBut we haven't got a General to guide us.
(As THEY describe them, a series of cutouts move across the stage in front of the curtain. They should all be caricatures of the typical military or equestrian monuments. For instance: the statue of Joe Hooker can show him being hit on the head by a beam in the doorway of the house in Chancellorsville; Scott being helped on a horse, etc. As THEY sing, TAMBO and BONES dance around the statues.)
BONESFuss and Feathers Winfield Scott was made our top man.But that Winfield Scott has slowed down to a stop, man. Once his fist was fierce with forceNow he can't get on a horseSo it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBOOh, McClellan's head was full of schemes and visions.But McClellan couldn't seem to make decisions.When we might have licked the foesPoor McClellan got the slows!So it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.
TAMBO and BONESOld Brains Halleck thought too much.John Pope was rash and headstrong.And Burnside lacked the leader's touch.Joe Hooker led, but led wrong.We could go on listing eight or nine or ten or all!What the Union Army needs is a General.
Oh, it's quiet on the Potomac tonight.It's so quiet on the Potomac tonightWe don't fight because we can'tWhere the Hell is U.S. Grant!It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight
(The lights start to fade on the Six Generals as they move off)
It's so quiet on the Potomac tonight.
(TAMBO and BONES mouth the words silently as the orchestra plays the tune for "It's so quiet," etc. and THEY tip-toe off)
16. THE BALLAD OF STONEWALL JACKSON
A group of CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS are seated on the gilt chairs in the minstrel circle. JOHNNY REB stands in the center.
JOHNNY REB and THE MENStonewall Jackson sucked lemons all day and nightTill they called him Old Lemon Squeezer.Oh, but when it came to winning in a fightHe could lick old Julius Caesar!
His stomach was dyspeptic and his looks were plainAnd he never would march on a SundayBut when it came to planning a campaignHe could gain thirty miles in one day!
But as he lay a-dyingThe last few words he said were these"Let's cross over the riverAnd rest under the shade of the trees."
"Mystify; mislead and surprise," he said"That's the way to trap the foeman,"And he made up his plans right out of his headAnd he told his plans to no man.
All around the Valley he marched his troopsUntil nobody knew what was cookingThen he took half an army in a single swoopTurning up where you'd least be looking.
But as he lay a-dyingThe last few words he said were these"Let's cross over the riverAnd rest under the shade of the trees."
But at Chancellorsville, oh at ChancellorsvilleThere the bright god of chance forgot himAnd by an error on the moon-swept hillSome one of his own men shot him.
And at Chancellorsville, oh at ChancellorsvilleAll flags at half-mast went a-flyingAnd all hearts were heavy and all thoughts were stillFor Stonewall lay a-dying.
And the angels of Heaven came flying in a troopWith their gold wings beating o'er themBut he executed a swift flanking swoopand he got to Heaven before them
And now when the black clouds crowd the skyAnd the bang of the thunder fills themAll the angels of Heaven go marching up highAnd old Stonewall Jackson drills them.
He's crossed over the riverAnd rests under the shade of the treesHe's crossed over the riverAnd rests under the shade of the trees.
JOHNNY REB and THE MENStonewall Jackson sucked lemons all day and nightTill they called him Old Lemon Squeezer.Oh, but when it came to winning in a fightHe could lick old Julius Caesar!
His stomach was dyspeptic and his looks were plainAnd he never would march on a SundayBut when it came to planning a campaignHe could gain thirty miles in one day!
But as he lay a-dyingThe last few words he said were these"Let's cross over the riverAnd rest under the shade of the trees."
"Mystify; mislead and surprise," he said"That's the way to trap the foeman,"And he made up his plans right out of his headAnd he told his plans to no man.
All around the Valley he marched his troopsUntil nobody knew what was cookingThen he took half an army in a single swoopTurning up where you'd least be looking.
But as he lay a-dyingThe last few words he said were these"Let's cross over the riverAnd rest under the shade of the trees."
But at Chancellorsville, oh at ChancellorsvilleThere the bright god of chance forgot himAnd by an error on the moon-swept hillSome one of his own men shot him.
And at Chancellorsville, oh at ChancellorsvilleAll flags at half-mast went a-flyingAnd all hearts were heavy and all thoughts were stillFor Stonewall lay a-dying.
And the angels of Heaven came flying in a troopWith their gold wings beating o'er themBut he executed a swift flanking swoopand he got to Heaven before them
And now when the black clouds crowd the skyAnd the bang of the thunder fills themAll the angels of Heaven go marching up highAnd old Stonewall Jackson drills them.
He's crossed over the riverAnd rests under the shade of the treesHe's crossed over the riverAnd rests under the shade of the trees.
17 MR. BRADY TAKES A PHOTOGRAPH
MR. BRADY's photographic wagon comes on propelled by the human horse used in "PICNIC AT MANASSAS." It is driven by MR. BRADY'S ASSISTANT(played by the CHARACTER ACTOR). MR. BRADY is played by MR. INTERLOCUTOR.
ASSISTANTMister Brady we're getting near.I can see Cemetery Hill appear.
(MR. BRADY pokes his head out of the wagon)
MR. BRADYGettysburg BattlefieldThat's the address.
ASSISTANTMister Brady, we're here, I guess.
(MR. BRADY erupts out of the wagon)
MR. BRADYGet the wet-plates, get the cablesGet the rear camera snood
ASSISTANTWhoa
MR. BRADYGet the apparatus readyIn the right attitude,
ASSISTANTYes, sir.
MR. BRADYWhile I get in the mood.
(MR. BRADY frames the scene with his hands -- thumbs touching -- as HE starts to sing)
I'm Matthew B. Brady the camera man.The camera man, the camera man.When this war began I had a marvellous planI had a marvellous plan.
Why not photo in toto each vital eventAnd a spirit in my feet said "Go" and I wentDoo-dle-oo doo-dle-ooDoo-dle-oo and I went.
In my white linen duster and my little straw hatMy little straw hat, my little straw hatMid the rattle of the battle's where I'm us'ally atThat's where I'm us'ally at.
And I haul my apparatus all around the mapAnd each time I take a picture, why it's a snapDoo-dle-oo doo-dle-ooDoo-dle-oo it's a snap.
(The ASSISTANT brings out a bunch of equipment)
ASSISTANTHere Mr. Brady.
MR. BRADYI invented all these!
ASSISTANTThere Mr. Brady
(HE brings out more equipment)
MR. BRADYAnd I patented these!Is the dark room ready so there isn't a chink
ASSISTANTYes, sir.
MR. BRADYThen go get the horse a drink.
ASSISTANTYes, sir!
MR. BRADYWhile I think.
(MR. BRADY gets into a thinking pose, so does the horse. The ASSISTANT unloosens the Horse from the cart)
I'm Matthew B. Brady as I said beforeThey call me the Da Vinci of this here war!So if you'd be a hero just drop me a hintAnd I will catch you doing it in mezzo-tint.
Today in Pennsylvania I'm on locationThe President is speaking in commemorationTo take him while he talks will be my greatest successSo right now Gettysburg is my address.
(As HE rushes about placing equipment, planning photograph etc., MISS DOROTHEA DIX -- the COMEDIENNE -- marches on. SHE sees BRADY and stops in her tracks. SHE is followed by FOUR NURSES marching single file. THEY do not stop but march into her and continue across the stage. THEY are carrying the paraphernalia of their profession a rolled-up stretcher, packages of gauze, bandages, etc.)
DOROTHEA DIXLadies! Ladies! Please! Halt! At ease.
NURSESCan it be?
DOROTHEA DIXYes, it can!
NURSESYes, it can!
DOROTHEA DIXIt is Mr. Brady the camera man.Mr. Brady, would you allow me
MR. BRADYYes?
DOROTHEA DIXTo present myself?
DOROTHEA DIX and NURSESMiss Dorothea Dix.
(As HE answers her, MR. BRADY ogles the GIRLS, waves his fingers at them, etc.)
MR. BRADYHowdy-do Miss DixAnd you cute little trix,I am here to take the President's photograph.
DOROTHEA DIXBut first let's have a chat,There'll be lots of time for that(On the word that" SHE waves vaguely in the direction of the speaker's stand)Mister Everett's been speaking for two hours and a half.
(SHE has him by the arm, HE cannot escape her)
Now let me see ... Oh, yes!
I saw the war and found itMuch to messy and ill-plannedSimply begging for the touchOf a well-bred woman's hand.
The battles were untidyAnd the weapons weren't clean.The nurses all were nothing but …
You know what I mean.
So, I went to the SenateAnd I went to the HouseAnd I told them exactly what I would do.
NURSESAnd the Senate said "No".And the House said "No".
DOROTHEA DIXBut I said *11 will, I will, I will, too!"And I nagged at the SenateAnd I nagged at the HouseAnd I made a fearful, fearful fuss.
NURSESTill the Senate gave inAnd the House gave in!And now just look …Just look at us!
DOROTHEA DIXI'm proud to introduce you to the Ladies Nursing Corps. All set to turn this shambles to a Sanitary War!
(WITH one arm aloft, SHE parades triumphantly about the stage)
MR. BRADYInt'resting if true, Mam.What am I supposed to do, Mam?
DOROTHEA DIXWhy, take my photograph for publication.
MR. BRADYVery well, I'll take one,But quick, let's get it done.The President is due nowAt the station.(MR. BRADY reverses the position of his camera to photograph MISS DIX and the GIRLS)
DOROTHEA DIXNow just where should I sit?I frankly will admitThat now the time has comeI feel quite flustered
Perhaps to ease my mindThe girls should stand behindBut should they pose in rowsOr loosely clustered?
(Having set up his camera, MR. BRADY rushes over to pose the GIRLS. THEY are giggly, and HE is flirtatious)
DOROTHEA DIX MR. BRADYTo leave a lovely home Now you stand here, And you stand here,And be a nurse and roam And you, stand over there. No, you stand hereAt first might fill a And you stand herelady's heart with fears And you -- let me think where.But now we're organizedI shouldn't be surprisedIf we should stay this way for years and years.And never ever go home again.
(MR. BRADY looks off to the speakers platform)
MR. BRADYIs that the President coming from the train?
DOROTHEA DIXIsn't he plain?Where was I? oh yes.
(MISS DIX continues to carol away as the GIRLS start chattering among themselves)
DOROTHEA DIX(Continued) MR. BRADY NursePerhaps you think us rudeTo appear so nearly nude Buzz buzz buzz buzzRight out in public Buzz buzz buzz buzzWithout any hoops Stand still Buzz buzz buzz buzzKeep quiet Buzz buzz buzz buzzBut nurses three yards wideCan't get into their Stride See the Birdie!!And crinolines kept tripping up the troopsSo that is why, you find us in such flat form.
(MR. BRADY, bulb in hand and very exasperated, is trying to take the picture. As his shouting gets the GIRLS' attention, HE suddenly turns toward the platform)
MR. BRADYIs that the President mounting to the platform?
DOROTHEA DIXHe's downright homely!Where was I? oh yes
(MR. BRADY turns his camera to face the speakers' stand. MISS DIX marches over, resolutely, and reverses it. THEY keep reversing the camera as SHE continues to sing. MR. BRADY is getting frenzied)
I started this idea
NURSESYou did, Miss Dorothea
DOROTHEA DIXThat nursing could be done by real ladies.I had a good start onThat upstart Clara BartonThen Clara started in,And it's been Hades!
MR. BRADY(Explodes)And strong men have been mangledWhen the diff'rent nurses tangledWith cries of "He belongs to me!No me! No me!"
DOROTHEA DIX(Rebukingly)Really, Mr. Brady!Really, Mr. Brady!
(The ASSISTANT comes tearing out of the wagon)
ASSISTANTMr. Brady, the President is starting to go!
(MR. BRADY is dumbstruck as MISS DIX delivers her gentle criticism)
DOROTHEA DIXHe's a poor elocutionist.It just goes to show.Can only talk three minutes;Not a mite of applause
MR. BRADYMister President!!!
(MR. BRADY crumbles to the ground in a dead faint. MISS DIX is enraptured)
DOROTHEA DIXNow girls, we have a patient, so get out your gauze.Take his clo'es, chafe his toes, Get him in a gownChange his sheet! Warm his feet!Wash him out and rub him down.
(The FOUR GIRLS unroll the stretcher and THEY manhandle MR. BRADY onto it. THEY run around, madly performing nursing chores)
(gently and reasonably)Ladies, stop!Mr. Brady did not take our photograph.We will leave him here for Clara Barton.Ladies, March!
(THEY dump him unceremoniously out of the stretcher onto the ground and march off, MISS DIX bringing up the rear)
Left, RightRight, LeftLeft, RightRight, Left(The HORSE comes galloping in. IT nuzzles MR. BRADY and whispers in his ear. MR. BRADY sits up very suddenly)
MR. BRADYWhat did you say?
(THE HORSE whispers to him again)
Are you sure?
(THE HORSE opens his mouth wide and MR BRADY looks down it. HE jumps up from the ground, jubilant)
I'm Matthew P. Brady, you can't keep me downYou cannot keep me down, cannot keep me down!I bob up serenely with never a frownEv'ry time I fall down!
SO, GIDDY-YUP, Horace, lets get on our way!I hear General Grant's gonna battle any day.
Next stop, Richmond will be my address.I'll shoot him in the saddle for my greatest success.
(MR. BRADY and the HORSE dance off)
ASSISTANTMister Brady we're getting near.I can see Cemetery Hill appear.
(MR. BRADY pokes his head out of the wagon)
MR. BRADYGettysburg BattlefieldThat's the address.
ASSISTANTMister Brady, we're here, I guess.
(MR. BRADY erupts out of the wagon)
MR. BRADYGet the wet-plates, get the cablesGet the rear camera snood
ASSISTANTWhoa
MR. BRADYGet the apparatus readyIn the right attitude,
ASSISTANTYes, sir.
MR. BRADYWhile I get in the mood.
(MR. BRADY frames the scene with his hands -- thumbs touching -- as HE starts to sing)
I'm Matthew B. Brady the camera man.The camera man, the camera man.When this war began I had a marvellous planI had a marvellous plan.
Why not photo in toto each vital eventAnd a spirit in my feet said "Go" and I wentDoo-dle-oo doo-dle-ooDoo-dle-oo and I went.
In my white linen duster and my little straw hatMy little straw hat, my little straw hatMid the rattle of the battle's where I'm us'ally atThat's where I'm us'ally at.
And I haul my apparatus all around the mapAnd each time I take a picture, why it's a snapDoo-dle-oo doo-dle-ooDoo-dle-oo it's a snap.
(The ASSISTANT brings out a bunch of equipment)
ASSISTANTHere Mr. Brady.
MR. BRADYI invented all these!
ASSISTANTThere Mr. Brady
(HE brings out more equipment)
MR. BRADYAnd I patented these!Is the dark room ready so there isn't a chink
ASSISTANTYes, sir.
MR. BRADYThen go get the horse a drink.
ASSISTANTYes, sir!
MR. BRADYWhile I think.
(MR. BRADY gets into a thinking pose, so does the horse. The ASSISTANT unloosens the Horse from the cart)
I'm Matthew B. Brady as I said beforeThey call me the Da Vinci of this here war!So if you'd be a hero just drop me a hintAnd I will catch you doing it in mezzo-tint.
Today in Pennsylvania I'm on locationThe President is speaking in commemorationTo take him while he talks will be my greatest successSo right now Gettysburg is my address.
(As HE rushes about placing equipment, planning photograph etc., MISS DOROTHEA DIX -- the COMEDIENNE -- marches on. SHE sees BRADY and stops in her tracks. SHE is followed by FOUR NURSES marching single file. THEY do not stop but march into her and continue across the stage. THEY are carrying the paraphernalia of their profession a rolled-up stretcher, packages of gauze, bandages, etc.)
DOROTHEA DIXLadies! Ladies! Please! Halt! At ease.
NURSESCan it be?
DOROTHEA DIXYes, it can!
NURSESYes, it can!
DOROTHEA DIXIt is Mr. Brady the camera man.Mr. Brady, would you allow me
MR. BRADYYes?
DOROTHEA DIXTo present myself?
DOROTHEA DIX and NURSESMiss Dorothea Dix.
(As HE answers her, MR. BRADY ogles the GIRLS, waves his fingers at them, etc.)
MR. BRADYHowdy-do Miss DixAnd you cute little trix,I am here to take the President's photograph.
DOROTHEA DIXBut first let's have a chat,There'll be lots of time for that(On the word that" SHE waves vaguely in the direction of the speaker's stand)Mister Everett's been speaking for two hours and a half.
(SHE has him by the arm, HE cannot escape her)
Now let me see ... Oh, yes!
I saw the war and found itMuch to messy and ill-plannedSimply begging for the touchOf a well-bred woman's hand.
The battles were untidyAnd the weapons weren't clean.The nurses all were nothing but …
You know what I mean.
So, I went to the SenateAnd I went to the HouseAnd I told them exactly what I would do.
NURSESAnd the Senate said "No".And the House said "No".
DOROTHEA DIXBut I said *11 will, I will, I will, too!"And I nagged at the SenateAnd I nagged at the HouseAnd I made a fearful, fearful fuss.
NURSESTill the Senate gave inAnd the House gave in!And now just look …Just look at us!
DOROTHEA DIXI'm proud to introduce you to the Ladies Nursing Corps. All set to turn this shambles to a Sanitary War!
(WITH one arm aloft, SHE parades triumphantly about the stage)
MR. BRADYInt'resting if true, Mam.What am I supposed to do, Mam?
DOROTHEA DIXWhy, take my photograph for publication.
MR. BRADYVery well, I'll take one,But quick, let's get it done.The President is due nowAt the station.(MR. BRADY reverses the position of his camera to photograph MISS DIX and the GIRLS)
DOROTHEA DIXNow just where should I sit?I frankly will admitThat now the time has comeI feel quite flustered
Perhaps to ease my mindThe girls should stand behindBut should they pose in rowsOr loosely clustered?
(Having set up his camera, MR. BRADY rushes over to pose the GIRLS. THEY are giggly, and HE is flirtatious)
DOROTHEA DIX MR. BRADYTo leave a lovely home Now you stand here, And you stand here,And be a nurse and roam And you, stand over there. No, you stand hereAt first might fill a And you stand herelady's heart with fears And you -- let me think where.But now we're organizedI shouldn't be surprisedIf we should stay this way for years and years.And never ever go home again.
(MR. BRADY looks off to the speakers platform)
MR. BRADYIs that the President coming from the train?
DOROTHEA DIXIsn't he plain?Where was I? oh yes.
(MISS DIX continues to carol away as the GIRLS start chattering among themselves)
DOROTHEA DIX(Continued) MR. BRADY NursePerhaps you think us rudeTo appear so nearly nude Buzz buzz buzz buzzRight out in public Buzz buzz buzz buzzWithout any hoops Stand still Buzz buzz buzz buzzKeep quiet Buzz buzz buzz buzzBut nurses three yards wideCan't get into their Stride See the Birdie!!And crinolines kept tripping up the troopsSo that is why, you find us in such flat form.
(MR. BRADY, bulb in hand and very exasperated, is trying to take the picture. As his shouting gets the GIRLS' attention, HE suddenly turns toward the platform)
MR. BRADYIs that the President mounting to the platform?
DOROTHEA DIXHe's downright homely!Where was I? oh yes
(MR. BRADY turns his camera to face the speakers' stand. MISS DIX marches over, resolutely, and reverses it. THEY keep reversing the camera as SHE continues to sing. MR. BRADY is getting frenzied)
I started this idea
NURSESYou did, Miss Dorothea
DOROTHEA DIXThat nursing could be done by real ladies.I had a good start onThat upstart Clara BartonThen Clara started in,And it's been Hades!
MR. BRADY(Explodes)And strong men have been mangledWhen the diff'rent nurses tangledWith cries of "He belongs to me!No me! No me!"
DOROTHEA DIX(Rebukingly)Really, Mr. Brady!Really, Mr. Brady!
(The ASSISTANT comes tearing out of the wagon)
ASSISTANTMr. Brady, the President is starting to go!
(MR. BRADY is dumbstruck as MISS DIX delivers her gentle criticism)
DOROTHEA DIXHe's a poor elocutionist.It just goes to show.Can only talk three minutes;Not a mite of applause
MR. BRADYMister President!!!
(MR. BRADY crumbles to the ground in a dead faint. MISS DIX is enraptured)
DOROTHEA DIXNow girls, we have a patient, so get out your gauze.Take his clo'es, chafe his toes, Get him in a gownChange his sheet! Warm his feet!Wash him out and rub him down.
(The FOUR GIRLS unroll the stretcher and THEY manhandle MR. BRADY onto it. THEY run around, madly performing nursing chores)
(gently and reasonably)Ladies, stop!Mr. Brady did not take our photograph.We will leave him here for Clara Barton.Ladies, March!
(THEY dump him unceremoniously out of the stretcher onto the ground and march off, MISS DIX bringing up the rear)
Left, RightRight, LeftLeft, RightRight, Left(The HORSE comes galloping in. IT nuzzles MR. BRADY and whispers in his ear. MR. BRADY sits up very suddenly)
MR. BRADYWhat did you say?
(THE HORSE whispers to him again)
Are you sure?
(THE HORSE opens his mouth wide and MR BRADY looks down it. HE jumps up from the ground, jubilant)
I'm Matthew P. Brady, you can't keep me downYou cannot keep me down, cannot keep me down!I bob up serenely with never a frownEv'ry time I fall down!
SO, GIDDY-YUP, Horace, lets get on our way!I hear General Grant's gonna battle any day.
Next stop, Richmond will be my address.I'll shoot him in the saddle for my greatest success.
(MR. BRADY and the HORSE dance off)
DIALOGUE 7.
TAMBO and BONES come out from opposite sides of the stage, in front of the curtain.
BONESWell Mr. Tambo ... finally, and at last, you has been in a fight!TAMBOHad a little taste of it, Mr. Bones.
BONESStood your ground, did you?
TAMBONosuh, I runs.
BONESYou runs! At the first fire you runs, did you?
TAMBOYassuh, and I would've run sooner had I knowed it was comin'
BONESThat wasn't very creditable to your courage.
TAMBOCourage ain't my line. Cookin's my profession.
BONESIf all soldiers were like you, traitors might have broken up the gov'ment of the United States without resistance.
TAMBO(Cheerfully)Yassuh, there would have been no help for it.
BONESThen patriotism and honor are nothing to you?
TAMBOMr. Bones, I regards them as among the vanities.
BONESMr. Tambo, you is laboring under a miss-apprehension. The life of one man is a mere nothing in this war. Do you think your company would have missed you? Would your regiment have missed you? Would the army have missed you? Would the gov'ment have missed you?
TAMBO(Cheerfully)Maybe not! A dead white man ain't much to all them people let alone a dead colored man. But I would have missed my-self …(HE thinks about this for a moment)Yassuh, I sure would have missed myself.
(The NORTHERN GIRL runs on)
NORTHERN GIRLOh, Mr. Tambo, Mr. Bones. Have you seen Captain Billy Yank?
BONESLast time I seen him, mam, he was down south with Gen'ral Sherman.
(THEY start to leave)
NORTHERN GIRLWas he alright?
TAMBOHe was just fine, just fine
(As TAMBO and BONES leave SHE calls after them)
NORTHERN GIRLWill he be home soon?(SHE turns back to the center of the stage as musical number 18 starts)Will he be home soon?Will I know him?
BONESWell Mr. Tambo ... finally, and at last, you has been in a fight!TAMBOHad a little taste of it, Mr. Bones.
BONESStood your ground, did you?
TAMBONosuh, I runs.
BONESYou runs! At the first fire you runs, did you?
TAMBOYassuh, and I would've run sooner had I knowed it was comin'
BONESThat wasn't very creditable to your courage.
TAMBOCourage ain't my line. Cookin's my profession.
BONESIf all soldiers were like you, traitors might have broken up the gov'ment of the United States without resistance.
TAMBO(Cheerfully)Yassuh, there would have been no help for it.
BONESThen patriotism and honor are nothing to you?
TAMBOMr. Bones, I regards them as among the vanities.
BONESMr. Tambo, you is laboring under a miss-apprehension. The life of one man is a mere nothing in this war. Do you think your company would have missed you? Would your regiment have missed you? Would the army have missed you? Would the gov'ment have missed you?
TAMBO(Cheerfully)Maybe not! A dead white man ain't much to all them people let alone a dead colored man. But I would have missed my-self …(HE thinks about this for a moment)Yassuh, I sure would have missed myself.
(The NORTHERN GIRL runs on)
NORTHERN GIRLOh, Mr. Tambo, Mr. Bones. Have you seen Captain Billy Yank?
BONESLast time I seen him, mam, he was down south with Gen'ral Sherman.
(THEY start to leave)
NORTHERN GIRLWas he alright?
TAMBOHe was just fine, just fine
(As TAMBO and BONES leave SHE calls after them)
NORTHERN GIRLWill he be home soon?(SHE turns back to the center of the stage as musical number 18 starts)Will he be home soon?Will I know him?
18. I CAN'T REMEMBER
The NORTHERN GIRL sings.
NORTHERN GIRLI can't remember--He's been away so long …Was his touch so gentle?Were his arms so strong?
I can't remember --He's fading from my mind …But his hair was curlyAnd his hands were kind!
I make up dreamsI call by his name …But in my dreamIs he still the same?
Help me remember –The way it used to beFor if 1 rememberHe'll remember me!
I can't remember --His eyes were dark and bright …Was his smile so friendly?Was his heart so light?
When I rememberThe place where we first met.Is it he I'm seeing?Or do I forget?
I still recallEach word that he said …Was he so tall?How proud was his head?
I can't remember --But when he's home againWith his arms around me ...I'll remember then!
NORTHERN GIRLI can't remember--He's been away so long …Was his touch so gentle?Were his arms so strong?
I can't remember --He's fading from my mind …But his hair was curlyAnd his hands were kind!
I make up dreamsI call by his name …But in my dreamIs he still the same?
Help me remember –The way it used to beFor if 1 rememberHe'll remember me!
I can't remember --His eyes were dark and bright …Was his smile so friendly?Was his heart so light?
When I rememberThe place where we first met.Is it he I'm seeing?Or do I forget?
I still recallEach word that he said …Was he so tall?How proud was his head?
I can't remember --But when he's home againWith his arms around me ...I'll remember then!
19. FROM ATLANTA TO THE SEA
The stage is bare except for a slight hillock in the center. BILL? YANK marches on, followed by a GROUP OF UNION SOLDIERS
BILLY YANKWe've left the city back of usAblaze with victoryWe're marchin' cross the mapAn' headin' East as East can beFrom off the fat of Georgia
BILLY YANKWe've left the city back of usAblaze with victoryWe're marchin' cross the mapAn' headin' East as East can beFrom off the fat of Georgia